A place for her
by MsViolet85
Summary: This AU takes place 18 months after the end of "A dry place to call my own." Alex and Piper never thought they'd be here, life had hurt so much in the last two years, but now it was all worth it.
1. Chapter 1

**A place for her**

 **A/N**

 **Hey guys. This is a very short follow up to one of my previous stories, A dry place to call my own. I never thought I'd be writing about a Vauseman baby, but perhaps my views on that are changing after finishing season 5. I also very rarely write 'happy stuff', but I really couldn't get this little scene out of my head.**

 **This picks up about 18 months after the end of A dry place. Not sure if this will be a one-shot, or if I might add more as time goes by (to fill in the gaps from the original story). As always, let me know your thoughts.**

 **Cheers.**

 **Chapter 1**

Alex was frozen to the spot as the nurse handed her the little girl while Piper got cleaned up.

 _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I have a kid now. I, Alex Vause, am a mother, a fucking mother…._

The brunette tried to calm those inner demons and wrapped her arms around the small bundle, not exactly sure what she should be thinking or doing. She traced her eyes all over the newborn, something inside her saying to check everything, check every little detail in front of her.

 _Okay, shit, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, little mouth and nose. She's so small, is she meant to be this small?_

Alex brought her daughter to her chest and took a closer look, inhaling her scent and feeling those little fingers press against her chest.

 _Crystal clear blue eyes, just like your mum…._

That was it, it was all over for Alex as soon as she locked onto that familiar shade of blue.

 _For better or worse, you're mine kid, you're definitely mine…._

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The nurses had finished cleaning Piper up and had taken her back to the small hospital room. She was beyond exhausted, lay back on the pillow and let her eyes slowly close. It still didn't feel quite real, she was still waiting to wake up, to realise it was all a tragic dream, there wasn't really any baby. But then she was pulled back into reality by the most perfect sight, and she felt the tears starting to build in her eyes.

It was Alex, walking into her room with their baby, _their_ baby, wrapped in a pink blanket that matched her little pink beanie.

"Hey Pipes, they said you were back down here so we thought we'd come visit."

Piper had never seen her girlfriend like this, she'd never seen her _smile_ like this. No, this was completely new. Piper instantly knew this was a smile reserved for their little girl and no one else. The blonde slowly sat up in the hospital bed and felt her own smile spreading across her face, it felt so good. This picture in front of her right now felt so perfect, she didn't ever want this feeling to end.

Alex sat next to Piper's bed, pulled off the little pink beanie and handed her their little girl, "I'm pretty sure she missed you, I couldn't get her to stop talking about you!"

Piper couldn't hold in her laughter or her tears. She brought the baby closer to her face so she could gently kiss the top of her head, which was already covered with soft blonde hair.

Alex knew Piper's emotions were in overdrive right now, it had been such a crazy ride to get here, and Piper was one of the strongest people she knew. She leaned over the side of the bed and let her lips brush against Piper's cheek, "You did it babe, she's fucking perfect, you're perfect."

Those words just made Piper cry even more as she cuddled her new baby girl. She never thought she'd get to do this, this was all she ever wanted, and now it was really happening. Now she got to live the life she always wanted, and she got to do it with Alex.

Piper closed her eyes and focussed on the feeling of the baby in her arms, and Alex's fingers gently stroking her face. Piper loved hearing Alex's words flowing through the background, saying things she never thought possible.

"So, what about your final name choice? You know I like all of them, and since you kinda did all the work making her, I think you should choose."

Piper reached across the bed and grabbed her girlfriend's hand, "Al, you'll never understand how much you've done."

"Maybe, I did let you kick me in your sleep every night for the last three months."

Alex smirked and leaned in for a kiss, she was so proud of the blonde, she couldn't put it into words.

"So c'mon, pick a name or I'm putting Megatron on her birth certificate!"

Alex couldn't get enough of watching Piper smile so much. There was a time not so long ago when she didn't think she'd ever see her girlfriend smile again. But now here they were, and Piper was radiating happiness.

"Okay, okay!"

Alex waited patiently to hear what name their little girl would have for the rest of her life.

"Charlotte, that's her name. Charlotte Chapman Vause."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **A/N**

 **Hi folks, here's Chapter 2. I'll probably write this story as shorter than usual chapters that are posted every second day or so. At this point I doubt it'll be terribly long, more so my internal drabbles than anything else...Some chapters will be present day, some will be flashbacks on how they ended up here.**

 **Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.**

 **Cheers.**

Piper was petrified once they were sent home, it was all up to her and Alex now. There would be no nurses to help them anymore, no one there at all times to answer their questions. Now they needed to work out how to be mothers on their own, and Piper's anxiety made itself known all over again. It had taken _so long_ to get here, it was _so hard_ to get here, and now she was so scared of screwing everything up.

Piper and Charlotte stayed in the hospital for three days. Alex stayed with them the whole time, sleeping in a trundle bed on the floor. Piper was so thankful the nurses let Alex stay in the room with her and the baby, just knowing she was there helped ease the anxiety. But it didn't stop Piper waking up throughout the night to make sure Charlotte was still there, still breathing.

The blonde could see how happy Alex was to be back in their own apartment, which made her feel bad about how scared she was. It made her keep those feelings to herself, but Alex could see right through her as soon as they stepped through the front door of their home. Alex watched as Piper stood in their bedroom, leaning against the wall, trying to control her breathing. She walked up to her girlfriend and put one arm around her waist while she held onto Charlotte with the other.

"Talk to me Pipes."

Alex knew this whole experience would be so overwhelming for Piper, and the worst thing she could do was bottle up her feelings.

"I'm scared…"

"Me too." Alex gently pulled Piper away from the wall and back towards the bed, where they both lay down with the baby in between them.

"She's less than one week old Pipes, right now all she wants, all she needs is you."

Alex looked into Piper's eyes and then at the baby in between them. Charlotte let out a big yawn but still kept her focus on Piper's long blonde hair that was dangling just above her face.

"I'll be here the whole time, my work schedule is totally clear, and you know you won't be able to keep my mum away from her."

The thought of Diane did make Piper smile. She was so completely blown away to be a grandmother, Charlotte had no idea how lucky she was to have someone like Diane in her life.

Piper relaxed more into her pillow and kept listening to Alex, "I'll help with everything, the night time feeds, the diapers, the tantrums, even when she realises I'm the cool mum, all of it."

"Mmhhhh, I'm gonna hold you to that Vause."

Alex smiled and gently rubbed Piper's arm, "I promise, I'll do it all. But you gotta do one thing for me Pipes, you gotta go back to the hospital therapist. We both know that as totally fucking amazing as this is, it's gonna bring back bad memories. You went through so much, and I want you to be okay. Please just remember that we're safe now. You, me and Charlotte, no one can hurt us now. I promise I'll never make those same mistakes again, I'll always protect both of you."

Piper knew Alex was right, she needed to go back to her old therapist, but she wasn't ready to process that yet. Alex and Charlotte were all she needed right now, and she knew how hard Alex had fought to make their lives better. Right now she just wanted to try and focus on her daughter, and how even through all the fear and anxiety, she was so fucking happy to have her.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Diane visited the new mums later that night, she was so happy they were all home and doing well. The hospital always brought back so many bad thoughts, times when she thought she was going to lose Alex and Piper. But now this was a happy occasion, and she was determined to help remind them about that.

Diane smiled and grabbed the baby from Alex's arms as soon as she walked into the apartment, "Hey little Charlie."

She already loved this little girl, regardless of whether she was biologically related. She kissed the top of Charlotte's head before turning her attention to Alex, "How are you holding up sweetie?"

"I'm good mum, I'm happy to be home."

"And what about Piper?"

Alex wasn't quite sure how to answer that question, "She's happy, but she's worried, I can't blame her for that. I think she keeps waiting for something to go wrong, or she thinks about what happened with Jack, I don't know…"

Diane and Alex both moved to the couch to get comfortable, and Diane could see how tired her daughter was.

"Did you actually sleep at the hospital?"

"Mum, I told you I'm fine."

"I never said you weren't fine, I asked if you'd slept for the last three days."

Alex leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes, she didn't think she'd ever be very good at asking for help.

"I slept more than Piper did. She's asleep in bed right now, I don't want her to burn herself out. I've got time now to be home and do all the baby stuff, I want her to rest while she can."

Diane took in her daughters words. Alex hadn't said much to her about work lately, just that she didn't need to travel anymore and she could be home 24/7 with Piper and the baby for the next few weeks. Part of Diane was so scared at the idea of Alex and Piper bringing a baby into the world when Alex was still connected to the cartel, but she knew she was missing plenty of details. All she knew right now was that Alex didn't travel anymore, and she was trying to slowly extract herself from the cartel. But she knew there was no point pushing her for more details right now, she just wanted her daughter to enjoy her new life as a mother.

"What if I cook you guys dinner tonight?"

Alex sat back up and was about to say no when she realised how tired she actually was, maybe it was time to accept more help from her mother.

"Or you cook dinner and I'll look after Charlie?"

"That actually sounds pretty good mum, thanks. You look after the baby, I'll get dinner ready once Piper's awake."

Diane reached out and pulled Alex in close to her and the baby, "She's so fucking adorable Alex, and she's yours."

Alex sighed and leaned her head on Diane's shoulder while she reached out and rubbed Charlotte's tummy, "I'm so scared of fucking this up, of fucking _her_ up."

"All of us fuck up, nobody wants to talk about how hard it is to be a mum. But you will not fuck up this baby Al, you can't think like that. Fucking call me if you need anything, and you need to call me if Piper is struggling, understand?"

Alex nodded and kept focussing on Charlotte's reaction to every movement of her hand, she understood exactly what Diane meant. They were both worried about the same thing, but it was still hard to admit it out loud.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was nearly 7pm and Piper was still asleep, so Alex decided to wake her up. Charlotte was almost due for another feed anyway. She left Diane and the baby in the lounge room and slowly opened the bedroom door, smiling at what she saw.

Piper had wrapped herself up in their blanket and was cuddling Alex's pillow, holding it against her chest. Alex sat next to the sleeping figure and gently ran her fingers over her cheek, "Hey Pipes."

The blonde shuffled closer to her girlfriend's body but didn't wake up. Alex quietly slipped under the covers and cuddled her from behind, whispering in her ear, "Think you can wake up? My mum's looking after Charlotte, and I'm about to cook you the most amazing spaghetti bolognaise you've ever had."

Piper still didn't say anything, but rolled over and buried her face in Alex's chest. These actions still made Alex's heart melt, they probably always would.

"If you get up now and feed the baby, you can go straight back to sleep, I'll bottle feed her during the night. I just wanna make sure you eat some dinner."

Piper finally opened her eyes and placed a hand on Alex's cheek, "Is she okay?"

"Is Charlotte okay? She's perfect babe. I mean, she doesn't do a whole lot right now, but she's pretty fucking cute. My mum has officially kidnapped her."

The thought of Diane and Charlotte bonding made Piper smile, "I'll get up, I don't know why I'm so tired."

"You did just push out a baby Pipes, you're allowed to be tired. And I know you're nervous right now, so just let me look after you, deal?"

"Mmhhh, deal."

Piper slowly got up, put on her robe and walked into the lounge room. She was so happy to see Diane, she'd started to look at the older woman as her own mother. She sat next to Diane on the couch and took the baby in her arms, who was starting to get grumpy.

Diane leaned into Piper and kissed her on the cheek, "Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?"

Diane could see that Piper's smile was genuine, but she still worried about her, "I'm really happy. I'm still struggling to believe this is real."

Charlotte finally started to cry, and Piper got ready to feed her. Alex made her way into the kitchen to start dinner, she knew her mum wanted some alone time with the blonde.

"She's so beautiful Piper, she already looks just like you."

Piper looked down at her daughter, she really did look like her, "I know, it's so crazy. I've read so many books about being a new mum, but it still doesn't prepare you for it. I want to do everything right for her, I want her to grow up knowing how much we love her."

"You can call me with any questions Piper, day or night. I went through it alone when I had Alex. There are gonna be so many things you don't know, so just pick up the phone."

"Thanks Diane."

They kept sitting and chatting until Piper was done feeding Charlotte, it felt nice to have Diane next to her right now, especially since her own mother wasn't in the picture anymore. Piper moved the small baby in her arms and started gently patting her back, it made her think about how much this little person needed her. Charlotte was relying on them for everything, Piper was going to be the most important person to this little girl for a long time, relying on her for food, love, and care. Instead of making Piper feel scared, it made her feel good, she wanted so badly to be a good mum, to give her daughter everything she'd ever need. Her fear only kicked in when she worried about something bad happening, when she thought about someone trying to take Charlotte or Alex away from her. She tried to shake those thoughts from her mind and focus on Charlotte, she was all that mattered now.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

 ** _4 months earlier_**

Alex sat in Fahri's apartment, she was more than a little nervous about what she was about to ask him, but she didn't have a choice. She sat across from him at the kitchen table, thanking him as he handed her a scotch.

"Look, you know Piper's pregnant. I need to be there for her once the baby's born, I need some time off."

Fahri wasn't surprised by Alex's request, he was actually expecting it, but it put him in an awkward position.

"Kubra has already given you a lot of leeway Alex."

Alex knew exactly what he was about to say, and she didn't want to hear it, "Yeah because it was _my work_ in Indonesia that's making him fucking millions! No one else could've done that for him!"

"I get it Alex! But you need to re-join reality here! You know he's not going to just _let_ you walk away. I know what you want Alex, but it won't come easy."

Alex pushed her glasses to the top of her head and rubbed her eyes, "You know _everything_ that has happened, you _know_ I need to be there for Piper and the baby. And you _know_ I don't want this life anymore…"

Fahri just sighed, "I know Alex, I know all of it. But seriously, if he ever lets you leave, what the fuck are you going to do for money?"

"I have more fucking money that I'll ever need Fahri! I've got plenty saved, it'll be enough."

They both sat there and sipped their drinks. Fahri didn't want to talk anymore about Alex asking for more flexibility, but she wasn't about to drop it.

"I need time off after the baby is born, at least a month."

Fahri slammed his drink down on the table, "A fucking month! Are you insane? You already don't travel anymore, all you have to do is local work, and you expect him to let you have a month off!"

"Yes! I have made him more money than anyone else in this fucking organisation!"

He knew arguing with her was pointless, "Just be really fucking sure you understand what you're doing here Alex. Fine, I'll talk to him, and maybe he'll even say yes. But I can't protect you from him. If he decides that you're becoming too much of a pain in the ass, I can't stop him. And I don't want to see you go through anymore shit."

"I know. But I need this Fahri, this is gonna be my kid too, and I want to be there. I need to keep believing that there's a way out of this, there has to be….."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

 ** _Back to present day_**

It was the end of the night and Diane had gone home, leaving Alex and Piper to go to bed. Alex was trying to get Charlotte to sleep while Piper finished showering. She was walking around their bed cradling the baby in her arms, gently swaying her, thinking about how amazing the next few weeks would be. She never thought of herself as a mother, she never thought about having kids before Piper came along. But this felt so right.

Alex didn't want to think about what would happen once these few weeks were over. She needed to decide on her next move. She didn't want to still be stuck in the cartel once Charlotte was old enough to know what her mum did for a living. She needed to try and move things along faster, she didn't want to wait anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

 **Hey folks. So my plan to update with shorter chapters every couple days has been a fail this week! Had to unexpectedly travel interstate for some family issues, but should be able to return to regular updates next week.** **In the meantime, here is Chapter 4, reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Cheers.**

 **Chapter 4**

 **4 months ago**

Alex sat across from Kubra, he'd agreed to meet her at their warehouse on the outskirts of the city. Fahri had kept his word and spoken to Kubra about Alex taking time off for the baby, and now he wanted to talk to her face to face. Of course, Aiden was there too, standing behind Alex the whole time.

She didn't move, but kept her gaze focused on her boss, waiting for him to start talking.

"So, Fahri tells me you want time off."

"That's right."

Alex intended to keep her answers short, the less emotion she showed, the better her chances of getting what she wanted.

"You want an entire month off, did I hear that correctly?"

"Yes, I want a month, and I think I've earned it."

"You've already gotten your reward for the Indonesian work Alex, you don't travel anymore. So why should I do you anymore favours?"

Alex tried to keep her nerve and leaned across the table, "Because I'm your best, and I think I have a pretty good reason for wanting time off."

Alex didn't like the fact that Kubra knew about the baby, but she didn't have a choice. Keeping secrets from him would only end badly, and she felt like she had extra bargaining power after all the work she did in Indonesia.

"Do you really think you're cut out for motherhood Alex?"

"I'm not discussing that with you."

"You'd better fucking discuss it with me, especially when you're asking for time off. So tell me, how is Piper doing?"

"She's good."

"And the baby?"

"The baby is healthy."

Kubra leaned back in his chair and pulled a cigarette out of his jacket pocket, "I'm glad to hear that Alex."

He lit his cigarette and an eerie silence fell between them. He eventually stood up and walked towards Alex, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Okay Alex, I'll give you the month off, but you're going to owe me something for it. You'll be doing a big favour for me once you're back at work, and if you want to stay healthy, you won't ask me any questions about it. Do we have an understanding?"

Alex could feel her heart beat increasing, "Yes."

"Good. Okay, I think we're done here."

Alex kept her eyes on Kubra, saw him nod to Aiden and then walk away. She felt Aiden grab her by the arm and lead her back out to her car. They were about to walk through the exit door when he pushed her face first into the wall, one hand still holding her arm while the other pressed her face into the brick wall.

"You keep pushing your luck Vause, remember you're still just an employee. Keep doing your job and we won't have any problems."

He opened the door and pushed her outside, slamming the door behind her. Alex managed to keep her balance and got into her car. She needed to take this one step at a time, he'd agreed to the month off, that was a win. Now she needed to wait to see what he'd want from her afterwards. She shoved the keys into the ignition and put her hands on the wheel, which were still shaking. She closed her eyes and tried to slow down her breathing, one step at a time, she just needed to focus on one step at a time.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

 **Back to present day**

Charlotte was just over three weeks old, and Alex loved every minute she got to spend with her. She was lying on her back in their bed, with Charlotte lying on her stomach and looking up at the ceiling. The baby was desperately trying to fight off sleep, as Alex gently rubbed her chest and stomach.

Piper was lying next to her, she loved watching Alex and Charlotte bond, it made her want to cry every single time, "I've really loved having you home these last few weeks."

Alex looked over at her girlfriend and smiled, "Me too. I'm really fucking proud of you Pipes."

"I'm proud of you too."

They'd both achieved so much together. It wasn't just about getting through the pregnancy, it was all the things that happened before the pregnancy. Things like getting off heroin. They had both been drug users, and they managed to quit together. It wasn't easy, there were plenty of fights and crying, but they got there. As soon as the doctors told them there was a new treatment that might make it possible for Piper to carry to full term, they had no choice.

Alex knew how badly Piper wanted a baby of her own, and now, lying in bed with the little girl lying on top of her, she knew she'd made the right choice. She knew that she'd love this baby more than anything else in the world, that she'd do anything for her.

Piper shuffled closer to her girlfriend and snuggled into her side, "She loves cuddling with you Al, she stops crying as soon as you start rubbing her little tummy."

Alex smiled, neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before, with Charlotte refusing to settle after her last feed. The only way the little girl would settle was when Alex lay with her.

"Well, I'm more than happy to cuddle with her."

Piper moved in closer, "Do you think they'll let you take more time off work?"

That question broke Alex's heart, she'd love nothing more than to spend all her time at home, but she knew there was no way that was possible.

"I'm sorry babe, I can't. But I promise I won't be out all the time, I can do most of my work from here. Don't think for a second that I won't be here with both of you."

"I know, it's just been so good, we've got our own little family now. You're already an amazing mum, Charlotte loves you."

Alex leaned down and kissed her girlfriend on the lips. She never thought she'd be so happy spending this much time at home, but she didn't want to be anywhere else.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex had two days left before she had to start working again. She was doing her best to not think about what Kubra would want from her, she wanted to keep all of her focus on Charlotte.

Nicky was over for lunch, and Alex was happy for the extra distraction. Piper was feeding Charlotte with Nicky sitting next to her. Alex stayed standing in the corner of the room, taking in the scene in front of her.

Nicky had eased up alot on Alex since the couple had managed to quit heroin. Nicky would never stop being protective over Piper, but she couldn't deny that Alex would do absolutely anything for the blonde.

Nicky had been extremely skeptical about Alex being a mother, but those concerns disappeared as soon as she saw her with the baby. Piper wouldn't say much to Nicky about Alex's work, but that never stopped her from asking.

Right on queue, as soon as Alex sat down in the armchair, Nicky asked her about work.

"So Vause, when do you head back to the office?"

Alex clenched her jaw, "I've got a couple more days, but I'll still be around alot."

Nicky nodded in reply. She knew Alex was doing everything she could, but she needed to keep making sure everything would be okay.

Piper handed Charlotte to Nicky after she was done feeding, and went to sit on Alex's lap. Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde and rest her cheek against her back.

"How are you feeling Pipes? Are you tired?"

"I'm fine Al. I think you're the one that needs sleep, not me."

Nicky piped up before anyone else could, "Have I told you both that your sappy love displays are sickening?"

Alex gave her a wry smile, "At least once per week."

"Okay good, just so long as I'm not slipping. Also, you do realise this kid is gonna come running to me when she's 15 and hates both of you?"

Alex tried to laugh but it was hard, she couldn't stop worrying about Charlotte hating her one day because of her job.

Nicky could see the stress on Alex's face. As much as she'd given Alex a hard time in the past, she knew how much she loved Piper, and she could already see how much she loved Charlotte.

"Everything okay Vause?"

Alex tightened her grip on Piper's waist, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine, maybe I'm more tired than I realised."

Piper turned around and kissed Alex on the forehead, "Why don't you get an early night Al, I'll put her to sleep."

Alex nodded as Piper got up and went into the kitchen. Nicky stood up with the baby and walked towards Alex.

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

Alex sighed, "It's just been nice to be home."

"Not looking forward to work?"

"Not really. Piper asked me if I could get anymore time off, I really wish I could say yes. I'd spend all my time with her and the baby if I could."

Nick felt bad for the brunette, "Let me know if you need help."

Piper walked back into the room before Alex could say anything.

"C'mon babe, let me put you to bed."

"Go on Vause, I'll wrangle the kid while she kisses you goodnight."

Alex followed Piper into the bedroom and slipped under the covers. Two more days, she had two more days before she had to worry about Kubra.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

That's it, she couldn't put it off any longer. Alex sat in her car outside the warehouse, trying to work up the courage for her meeting with Kubra. She kept reminding herself that she was doing it for Piper and Charlotte. She'd do whatever it took to get out of the cartel for her family. She'd already proved to herself that she could get through the hard times, now it was time to push on.

Alex gripped the steering wheel one last time before getting out of the car and walking into the warehouse. As usual, Kubra was with Aiden, waiting for her.

Kubra got up from his seat to shake her hand, "Alex, you're early, it's good to see you're ready to get back into work."

Alex didn't say anything and sat across from her boss, with Aiden hovering in the background.

"Well, lets get down to business. Here's the latest list of shipments I need you to organize. You might need to get some new mules."

Alex took the usb stick from him, this is what she was used to, and honestly, she didn't mind this type of work. It was easy and she was good at it, but she knew Piper hated it when she needed to recruit new girls.

She was about to get up when she felt Aiden standing behind her. She knew it was too good to be true, he wouldn't let her walk out of there that easily.

"One more thing Alex, you owe me a favour, remember."

"Yeah, I remember."

Aiden walked around the table and sat next to Kubra, Alex couldn't stand the smug look on his face.

"There's a job I need you to help Aiden with, a situation that would benefit from your finesse."

Alex gritted her teeth and tried to stay calm, she knew exactly the type of work Aiden did.

"We're having trouble with some new comers to the industry that don't seem to understand our boundaries. We've given them plenty of opportunities to do the right thing, but they seem to think they can compete with us. I've had enough of their bulshit, it's time to end this."

Alex sat there and listened, "And what do you want me to do?"

Kubra leaned back in his chair, "Help Aiden take care of it, I'm not losing any more money to these fucking amateurs."

Alex didn't need any more information, she knew exactly what he wanted her to do.

"Deadline is the end of the week. I want this done quietly and quickly. We get rid of them and send a strong message at the same time."

Alex felt like her heart might beat out of her chest. It was the first time in a long time that she started thinking about heroin, fuck. She had never been involved in that part of the business, but she knew it happened, it was how Kubra had maintained so much control over the years. The idea of actually killing someone made her feel nauseous, her mind started to spin.

"I don't see why you need me to be involved."

Kubra leaned across the table, "Because you owe me Alex, and this job needs more than one person."

Alex was completely lost for words, and Kubra knew it.

"You didn't seem to have any issues when I took care of the man who raped your girlfriend, the man who beat the shit out of you."

"I know."

"So I trust you don't have any issues with doing this for me."

Alex just shook her head, she couldn't bring herself to speak.

"You can work with Aiden to organise everything."

Kubra stood up and walked out of the room, leaving her alone with Aiden.

Alex felt like she was going to have a panic attack, _I can't kill someone, I can't fucking kill someone..._

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex drove around for an hour after she finished her meeting with Aiden, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't just walk into their apartment and pretend everything was okay. She was meant to be taking another life at the end of the week, she was being forced to take a life in order to save her own. Alex wasn't even sure her life was worth more than someone else's, she'd done plenty of bad things in her life. But she had to think about Piper and Charlotte, they needed her.

Alex kept driving until she found herself outside Fahri's apartment building, he was the only one she could talk to about this.

Ten minutes later she was sitting on his couch with a beer in her hands. Fahri was standing on the other side of the room, he looked worried.

Alex finally got up the strength to lift her head and tell him what happened.

"He wants me to do a job with Aiden, he wants me to kill someone."

Fahri didn't say anything, but deep down he knew this would be destroying Alex. He didn't think she was capable of killing someone.

"Fahri, I can't fucking do this..."

He walked across the room and sat next to her on the couch, putting a hand on her leg.

"You don't have a choice Alex."

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she didn't care anymore. She sat there with her head in her hands, and let Fahri pull her in close.

"You've got a family to think about now Alex, you don't have a choice. I know it's shit, but you can't say no."

His words just frustrated her, and she slammed down her beer before jumping up off the couch.

"And where does it fucking end! If I do this, what will be the next job he gives me? I can't do this Fahri!"

"Hey, come on, you need to think about this Alex."

"I can't fucking think straight."

Alex bent over and put her hands on her knees, trying to get her breathing under control.

Fahri walked over to her and put a hand on her back, "I'll get something to help you relax."

"No, no fucking drugs!"

No matter how badly she wanted them, Alex never wanted to say yes to drugs again. Every time she felt like giving in, she remembered the day she found Piper on the bathroom floor after taking too much heroin, heroin that she'd gotten from Alex. Alex never wanted to go back there again, she never wanted to expose Piper to that life ever again.

Fahri held onto Alex's arm to stop her from running out of the apartment, "Okay, okay, no drugs. But you need to try and calm down. Don't go home like this, don't say anything to Piper. Try and get some sleep tonight, then come see me tomorrow, we can talk through it."

Fahri could see the pain in his friends eyes.

"I'm meant to be seeing Aiden again tomorrow."

"Well come see me after you're done with Aiden, we need to talk more."

"Yeah, sure.

Alex finished her beer and left Fahri's apartment. It was almost dinner time and she needed to get home, she was already running late. She needed to find a way to keep this away from Piper, she couldn't live with herself if Piper ever found out about this.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex tried to get a grip on her emotions before she went home. She knew Piper would ask her about work, and she needed to be able to tell her everything was okay. Alex walked into the apartment, which was mostly dark. She walked into the bedroom and saw Piper fast asleep in the bed, with Charlotte asleep in her bassinet.

Alex leaned over the bassinet and looked at the little girl, asleep on her back with her hands stretched above her head. Alex reached in and put a hand on her daughter, she needed to touch her. She kept reminding herself that no matter what, it was her job to protect Charlotte, Alex would never let anything happen to her, no matter what sacrifices she had to make.

Alex kicked off her shoes and slipped under the covers next to Piper, cuddling her from behind.

The blonde started to stir, and rolled over, her voice sounding very sleepy.

"Hhhmm, hey baby, I missed you today."

Alex pulled the blonde in closer, giving her a kiss, "I missed you guys so much, I couldn't wait to get home. How was Charlotte today?"

"She was okay, but she was so restless after lunch, I only just managed to get her to take a nap. I think she was waiting for you all day."

Alex nuzzled her face into Piper's long blonde hair, "I've been thinking about her all day, I can't believe how much I missed her. How are you feeling?"

"I'm just tired, but I'm glad your home. I've been kinda worried about you today, how did it go?"

"It was fine, Kubra gave me a bunch of drops to organise, but I can do a lot of that work from home. I need to go out for one meeting tomorrow, but I should be back early."

Piper wanted to believe everything Alex was saying, that everything would be fine. She had no reason to not believe her, their lives had been relatively quiet of late, and she wanted that to continue. Piper told herself to relax, this was the time she should be enjoying with her new baby and Alex, not worrying about all the things that could go wrong.

"Maybe we could have a nice dinner tomorrow night, I think your mum is coming over in the afternoon."

Alex kissed Piper on the forehead and smiled, "That sounds perfect Pipes."

The two women slipped further under the covers and just enjoyed holding each other, but Alex couldn't stop worrying about what would happen at her next meeting with Aiden.

 **A/N**

 **Okay folks, what do you think of what Kubra wants Alex to do?**

 **Cheers.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is rated M**

 **Chapter 6**

The entire week went by painfully slow for Alex. She had another two meetings with Aiden to finish organising the job, although he seemed to have it very much under control without her help. Kubra knew that Aiden didn't need Alex's help, no, this task was pure punishment. He was trying to break her, and Alex was starting to feel like he might succeed.

She'd also spent more time with Fahri. He kept telling her she had no choice, she needed to do it, but it wasn't that easy for Alex. It wasn't enough for her to say that she should do whatever it takes to stay alive, there were too many consequences to taking a life. It wasn't just about the person that died, it was their friends and family, the children they'd never have, as well as the imprint it would leave on Alex's conscience.

When she wasn't with Aiden or Fahri, Alex spent her time at home. Charlotte was changing everyday, and Alex got to see all of it. Every day was something different, it would be a new smile, a new sound, a new look in her eyes, it amazed Alex every single time. But it was also about Piper.

Alex loved seeing Piper so happy, and knowing that she was the one that made Piper happy, aside from Charlotte of course. She wanted to do everything for the blonde, no matter how small. It had been over a month since Piper had given birth, and she was definitely missing the intimate moments with her girlfriend.

It was Friday morning, Alex was meant to be meeting Aiden that night, the thought of it was gnawing away at the back of her mind. She was drifting somewhere in between sleep and awake when she felt Piper crawl on top of her. She opened her eyes to see the blonde straddling her body, wearing a black tank top and panties. It didn't take long for Piper to lean down and press their lips together. Alex closed her eyes again and moaned into the kiss.

"I've missed this Al."

Alex responded by placing her hands on the blonde's hips and pulling her in closer, encouraging her girlfriend to grind against her. She felt Piper running her fingers through her long dark hair, kissing her again, and again.

Both women wanted to stay like that all morning, all day, maybe even forever.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was Friday night and Alex stood in the empty warehouse alongside Aiden, feeling completely uncomfortable and out of place. Aiden had arranged for their colleagues to bring the two victims to the warehouse earlier that day. It was a young man and woman, who Alex learned were actually brother and sister. They were both blindfolded and tied to chairs sitting not far from where Aiden and Alex were standing. She had no idea what their names were, the less she knew the better.

None of this felt right, they couldn't have been much older than 21. Everyone thinks they're invincible at that age, they clearly had no idea what they were doing when they started dealing heroin and cocaine on Kubra's turf. Alex didn't know much else about them, just that they'd moved to New York about 6 months ago and wanted to make a big splash on the local drug scene.

Now it had all culminated in this moment. Alex kept standing there, looking at these kids with worry all over her face, eyebrows furrowed, no grand plan.

Aiden walked up next to her and handed her a small handgun. She stared at it for a moment before taking it. She'd never used a gun before, and now here she was, on the verge of pulling the trigger for the first time to kill some kids that had made a stupid mistake.

Aiden looked her straight in the eye, never looking away. He knew how much she hated this, and he loved watching her right now. He quickly showed her how to use the weapon, this was something he'd done dozens of time before.

He stepped forward before he started talking to their two victims.

"Anything you wanna say to us before we wrap this up?"

The young man started talking with a very shaky voice, "You don't need to do this, we can talk."

Aiden laughed, "That's not how we do business asshole."

Then, without any warning, Aiden placed the gun barrel close to the young mans forehead and pulled the trigger.

Alex's hands started shaking, she felt like she might vomit. All she could hear was screams from the young girl, who knew her brother was now dead. She started pleading for her life, but Aiden just laughed and turned towards Alex.

"Your turn now Vause."

Alex kept looking between the gun in her hands and the young girl in front of her.

 _I_ _can't fucking do this, she's just a kid, how the fuck did I get here..._

Alex lifted the gun and pointed it at the girl, who was still crying. Her mind was completely empty, like this wasn't even really happening. She placed her finger on the trigger, Aiden was watching every move she made. Alex stepped closer to the girl, pointing the gun at her head, her breathing kept getting faster and faster. The closer she got to the girl, the more she kept seeing herself. This could have so easily been her after she finished school, Diane had been the only thing that kept her in one piece at that age.

This girl in front of her probably had nothing, and now she was going to die for mistakes that she never meant to make.

 _Fuck, I can't do this..._

Alex slowly lowered the gun and looked towards Aiden.

"What do you think you're doing Vause?"

Alex wasn't thinking anymore, she was acting on pure instinct. She'd worry about the consequences later, right now all she could do was act. She pointed the gun at Aiden and started walking towards him. He immediately pointed his own gun at her.

"Don't play this game Vause, you have no idea what you're doing."

Alex did her best to block out his words. She took one last deep breath, and then pulled the trigger. She didn't want to do this, but it seemed to make the most sense when she was faced with so many horrible options. She closed her eyes and braced for the kickback, but nothing happened.

 _That fucking asshole!_

She opened her eyes to see Aiden smiling at her, fuck she hated him.

"You didn't think I'd hand you a loaded gun did you?"

He didn't hesitate in pointing his own gun at the young girl in the chair and pulling the trigger, before stepping closer to Alex.

"I'm really fucking sick of you Vause, you think you're so much better than the rest of us. You get everything you fucking want, you don't deserve any of it."

This was not one of the many potential scenarios Alex had played out in her mind. She knew Aiden didn't like her, but she didn't think he'd try and kill her when he knew how much money she made for the cartel.

"And what the hell are you gonna tell Kubra if you kill me?"

"Come on Alex, there are a million different stories that I could tell him, it doesn't even matter. It's not just me that's sick of the special treatment you get, I don't care how good you think you are."

He was only a few feet away from her. She wasn't going to stand there and let him shoot her, she needed to try and get out of here alive.

Alex lunged at him and grabbed the gun, trying to rip it from his hands, taking him by surprise. They each struggled to overpower the other until Alex kicked him in the shin as hard as she could, forcing him to his knees.

"You fucking bitch!"

Now they were on the ground, both trying to get control of the loaded gun. Alex was on top of him, using all of her strength to try and keep him still, but it wasn't working. He managed to get a hand free and used their momentum to roll them over. Now he was on top, using his legs to squeeze Alex's body as he tried to pry the gun from her hands.

Alex didn't think she could hold him off for much longer, she needed to try and end this now. She managed to get her finger on the trigger and pulled back as hard as she could, with the barrel of the gun pressed into his body. This time she definitely felt the kickback, and the gunshot rang out through the empty space.

Aiden rolled off of her, holding his chest, she could already see the blood staining his t-shirt. She moved away from him, kneeling down on the ground trying to catch her breath, not realising that she'd let go of the loaded gun.

 _I fucking shot him, I think I killed him..._

Alex went to get to her feet and pick up the gun, but she couldn't see it anymore, everything happened so fast. She heard another gunshot ring out, but she couldn't feel anything. She managed to drag herself to her feet before she saw Aiden lying on the floor, even more blood all over his shirt with his hand on the gun, but he wasn't moving anymore.

 _What the hell just happened!_

Alex couldn't process what was happening around her, all she could see was that Aiden was still holding onto the gun, but had now lost consciousness. She turned around to start running but she couldn't, and fell to her knees right next to Aiden. It took her a while to realise what was going on, that this was now a matter of life and death.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex was now running on pure adrenaline, she knew she had to get the fuck out of that warehouse. She stumbled to her feet and pressed one hand to her abdomen, all she could feel was the warm sticky blood dripping through her fingers. She managed to get into her car and drive. She had no idea where she was going, she just knew she needed to get as far away as possible from where those three bodies where lying.

Alex was desperately trying to keep her eyes on the road, but she was starting to feel dizzy, her vision blurring even with her glasses on. She at least had enough presence of mind left to stop the car, she had no idea where she was or how long she'd been driving for. She tried to look at the clock in the car but the numbers were too blurred, and anxiety was starting to get the better of her.

 _You cannot fucking die in this car tonight!_

 _Get up, get out of the fucking car so someone can find you!_

The brunette managed to use the last of her energy to open the car door and slide out, but that was it, her legs wouldn't take her any further. She felt her body slip onto the sidewalk as she kept her hand on the wound. Now she could feel the pain, it was hot and sharp, she thought maybe she was groaning, but she couldn't tell anymore. She felt the cool concrete against her cheek as her glasses slid off her face. Then everything went black.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Nicky burst through the front door of the apartment and ran straight to Piper, "What the fuck happened?"

Piper felt like maybe she was dying, scolding herself internally for ever believing that their lives were finally going to be perfect. This wasn't meant to happen, this wasn't fair. She kept pacing the lounge room and grabbing chunks of her blonde hair.

She managed to answer Nicky through her tears, "All I know is that she's been shot. I can't lose her Nicky, I'll fucking die if I lose her..."

Nicky wrapped her arms around her best friend and held onto her tight. Piper lost any last piece of self control she had managed to hang onto and sobbed uncontrollably in Nicky's arms.

"Does Diane know?"

Nicky had come to really love having Diane around, and hated the idea of her going through this type of stress all over again. She remembered the last time her and Diane had been sitting in the hospital together, waiting to see if Alex and Piper would be okay. That time they were lucky, both women were okay, but surely Alex was going to run out of luck eventually. Surely there were only so many times one person could dodge death.

"Yeah, she knows, I'm meeting her at the hospital. I need you to look after Charlotte tonight, I don't know when I'll be home."

Nicky pulled back from the hug, "Of course, I'll look after her as long as you need. How are you getting there?"

"I called a cab, I can't drive like this."

Piper's phone buzzed before Nicky could say anything else, "The cab is downstairs, I need to go."

Nicky pulled her back in for one more hug before letting her leave the apartment, "Call me as soon as you know anything."

Piper nodded and Nicky was left standing alone in the apartment. She walked into the master bedroom and saw Charlotte asleep in her bassinet, completely unaware that one of her mothers was fighting for her life.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper ran into the emergency room, her eyes desperately darting around to find Diane. She eventually saw her sitting in the corner. The older woman looked completely defeated and exhausted, like she had nothing left. Piper kept running until she had her arms around Diane and they were hugging. The blonde tried to control her crying, but she wasn't having much luck.

Piper couldn't bring herself to let go, and spoke quietly into Diane's shoulder, "Have the doctors said anything to you?"

Diane's voice sounded completely broken, "Not much, just that they've taken her straight to surgery."

They waiting for hours, and Piper was losing her patience, "What is taking so fucking long! Surely they can at least give us a fucking update!"

Diane stood up and gently rubbed Piper's arm, trying to get her to calm down, "They're doing everything they can sweetie."

"Well it's not enough!"

Diane pulled her into a hug as soon as she saw the fresh tears, "I know, I know it feels like that."

Piper felt selfish for crying on Diane's shoulder, but she couldn't stop herself. That was her daughter in the operating room, and she didn't even know if she was still alive. Piper didn't think she could handle the idea of anything ever happening to Charlotte, she didn't know where Diane drew her strength from, probably the same place that Alex did.

So they sat back down, and continued to wait.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was the early hours of the morning before one of the doctors came to see them, Dr Russell. He was the same doctor that had spoken to Diane when Alex was first admitted. Piper jumped to her feet and begged him for information.

"Please, please you have to tell me she's okay..."

Diane stood up and put an arm around Piper's shoulders, she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what the doctor had to say.

"She's stable for now, we've just gotten her out of surgery. The bullet went through her spleen, so blood loss has been our biggest problem. I'm also worried about the potential for infection, so I'm getting her onto antibiotics straight away. We've gotten her a spot in the ICU, the next couple of days will be important for her."

Piper didn't want to believe what she was hearing, "What does that even mean! Are you saying she might die?"

"I'm saying I don't know at this point. But the positives are that she's pulled through the surgery and is looking much better right now. I'm worried about further internal bleeding, plus the possibility of infection is always a concern with gunshot wounds to the abdominal area."

The doctor looked completely drained, and tried to give them both a hopeful look, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. They were both allowed to visit Alex, and followed him to her bed in the ICU.

"You can stay for about 30 minutes, then we'll need you to leave the area, we need her to rest."

Piper couldn't take the idea of leaving Alex lying alone in a hospital bed, "No, no I need to stay with her."

The doctor looked genuinely upset, "I'm sorry Piper, but we can't let visitors stay in ICU. I promise you that we're doing everything we can to keep her comfortable. You should go home and get some sleep, we'll call you if anything happens."

Diane could see that Piper was about to object and put a hand on her shoulder, "I'll come back to the apartment with you Piper, we'll all stay together. And we'll come back in the morning, you need to sleep sweetie, Charlotte still needs you."

Piper couldn't stand it, and let the silent tears roll down her cheeks, she barely registered what the doctor was saying anymore.

"You can absolutely come and spend some time with her tomorrow. Her chances of making a full recovery increase dramatically if she makes it through the next 24 hours."

Piper and Diane didn't say anything else, and followed the doctor to Alex's bed. He opened the curtain and invited them to sit next to her.

Piper needed to keep reminding herself to breath, and kept a tight grip on Diane's hand. She walked straight to the bed and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek, hoping she'd open her eyes, but she didn't. This wasn't like the last time Alex had been in the hospital. Back then she was covered in cuts and bruises, she looked horrible. But there were no bruises visible this time. The brunette's eyes were closed and she had an oxygen mask covering her face, but Piper couldn't see any bruises.

Her skin looked pale, but there were no signs of injury that Piper could see, she could almost convince herself that she was just sleeping, that she could wake up any minute.

Piper watched as Diane walked to the other side of the hospital bed and gently rubbed her daughter's hand. Both women focused on the body lying impossibly still in front of them, while the doctor kept talking and pointing to Alex's abdomen.

"The bullet entered here, we were able to remove all of it. The IV is delivering antibiotics directly into her bloodstream. She might end up needing more blood if there is anymore internal bleeding. One of the nurses will come and get you when it's time to leave."

Diane thanked the doctor and he quietly left them alone. She kept holding onto her daughters hand while Piper spoke through her tears.

"How did this happen, this wasn't meant to happen..."

Diane wasn't even sure how to support Piper when her own heart was breaking. She didn't say anything, keeping her focus on her only child, lying in the bed in front of her.

 **A/N**

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger...please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 **I'm not sure how this story went from being a fluffy one shot, maybe two, to a full on story, currently lacking fluff...**

 **Anyways, this chapter is really about Piper taking control. Also, thanks for the reviews, I always love reading what people think about my ramblings.**

 **Enjoy :)**

 **Chapter 7**

Piper and Diane walked back into the apartment feeling completely drained and empty. The blonde walked past Nicky sleeping on the couch and headed straight for the bassinet where her daughter was sleeping. She picked Charlotte up and cuddled her against her chest, still trying to hold onto her tears.

It wasn't much longer before she felt a hand on her shoulder, it was Diane. Neither woman said anything, and stayed standing in the middle of the room.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Another hour had passed and Piper's sadness had slowly turned to anger. Diane was asleep in the bedroom with Charlotte while Nicky was still asleep on the couch.

Piper gripped her mobile and walked into Alex's office as she dialed Fahri's number, he had to know what happened to Alex.

It rang three times before he finally answered, "Piper, what can I do for you?"

"What the fuck did you do to her?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Is Alex with you?"

"Alex is in the fucking hospital!"

"What the hell happened?"

Piper could hear the instant worry in his voice. She knew he cared about Alex, but she still didn't like him.

"Someone shot her last night, she's in the hospital. The doctors... they're not sure if she'll make it."

She could hear his breathing coming through the phone line, but he wasn't saying anything.

"Fahri, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

Fahri felt like his blood was boiling, none of this made any sense.

"Listen to me Piper, I'm gonna make some calls right now and find out what happened. I'll call you as soon as I know. But you can't say anything to the police if they try and talk to you, tell them you don't know anything."

"I _don't_ know anything!"

Piper hung up the phone and threw it onto the floor. She'd have a quick shower and get dressed, all she could think about right now was getting back to the hospital.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex made it through the night, but her pain had gotten worse. Piper and Diane walked into the ICU unit, and saw a nurse injecting something into the IV line.

Piper's heart starting racing as soon as she saw the brunette lying there again, still not awake.

"Is she okay? Did anything happen?"

The nurse turned around to face Piper and Diane, she looked kind.

"She had a rough night, but she's doing a lot better now."

Piper stayed glued to the spot while Diane sat next to the hospital bed and wrapped Alex's hand in her own. Piper was not letting that nurse leave until she'd told her everything.

"A rough night?"

The nurse could see how worried Piper was, "Her pain levels were an issue last night."

Piper interrupted the nurse before she could keep talking, she was getting agitated.

"So you're saying she was alone and in pain all night?"

"She was in pain for a portion of the night. I know it's not easy to hear, but this type of injury can be very uncomfortable for patients. It can be a bit of a balancing act to make sure she's comfortable without going overboard. I've just given her another dose to help her rest."

Piper was desperately trying to hold onto her emotions, "Is she still in pain?"

The nurse gave Piper a smile as she walked away from the bed, "No, she's comfortable now. The doctor is coming to see her soon, he'll be able to tell you more."

Piper finally let the nurse leave and took a seat, "I hate hospitals."

Diane knew exactly how she felt, "I know sweetie."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The two women just sat there with Alex, not saying anything, neither of them had the energy to talk. A couple of hours had passed and Alex hadn't woken up at all.

Piper kept stroking Alex's face and talking to her, "I know how strong you are Al, you need to keep fighting this. I swear Charlotte was waiting for you this morning, she already misses you."

Diane looked across at the blonde and could see her getting agitated again, "You need to wake up, I won't fucking let you leave me like this."

For the first time since Piper and Diane had been there, Alex tried to open her eyes, but breathing hurt so much, all she could do was groan through the pain.

Piper was about to jump out of her chair and drag a nurse in there when Diane stopped her, "Hey, it's okay Piper, you need to stay calm. Getting angry won't help her, she needs you to stay calm, she needs you to stay with her. I'll go get a nurse."

Diane put a hand on Piper's chest until she could feel the blonde calming down, then she went to find a nurse. Piper dropped back into the chair and gently stroked her girlfriend's face, she was clearly in pain, "Your mum's gone to get someone, they'll give you something to take away the pain. I'm not leaving."

Piper could now clearly see the pain in Alex's face, she could see her breathing getting faster, and she could see how much every breath hurt. It wasn't much longer before Diane was back with the nurse and the doctor. The nurse was carrying a syringe that she immediately injected into Alex's IV, while the doctor started talking. Piper was glad to see it was the same guy from last night, Dr Russell.

He stood next to the bed and put a hand on Alex's arm, "Alex, it's Dr Russell, can you open your eyes for me?"

Alex eventually managed to open her eyes, but her eyebrows were furrowed and she had a grimace on her face. Piper was thankful that Dr Russell didn't rush her, and at least tried to sound kind.

"Is the pain all in your abdomen?"

The doctor kept a hand on the brunette while she nodded, she didn't have the energy to speak.

"Okay, we've just given you another injection to help with the pain, I know it hurts a lot. The good news is that there's no sign of infection, but we'll keep giving you antibiotics just to make sure, and I want to keep you on oxygen for now."

Piper could see her girlfriend's eyes slowly closing again, she hoped that meant the medicine was already kicking in, "Will she be okay?"

"Getting through last night was the first step, we'll be monitoring her very closely today. I can't give you any guarantees, but she's doing well so far."

Piper and Diane nodded their thanks and the doctor walked away to see his other patients. The blonde leaned in closer to Alex, "Al, can you hear me?"

The brunette nodded and opened her eyes again.

"Does it still hurt?"

Piper was so relieved to hear her voice, even if it was barely a whisper, "A little..."

Piper wanted to ask her what happened, but she knew Alex wasn't up for that yet. Right now she just wanted the brunette to focus on getting better.

"Your mum's here too."

Diane took a hold of Alex's hand again, gently rubbing her thumb over Alex's fingers, "Hey baby."

Diane felt Alex squeeze her hand, not wanting her to let go, before closing her eyes again. Diane looked across at Piper, hoping that she'd stay calm. She could see how frustrated Piper was getting with the whole situation, but she knew it was all coming from a place of love.

Piper was about to ask Diane if she wanted a coffee when her phone started ringing, it was Fahri.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper walked out of the ICU and into a small waiting area, "Okay, I can talk now. What did you find out?"

"A job went wrong last night."

His response sparked Piper's anger again, "Yeah I figured that out myself! You need to tell me what happened!"

"I can't tell you much more until I've spoken to Alex."

Piper was shouting into her phone by this point, "You won't be speaking to her at all if she dies! So tell me what happened!"

"Calm down! I don't want to have this conversation over the phone. What if I meet you at the hospital?"

"No, I don't want you anywhere near her."

Fahri sighed, "Fine, I'll text you an address for a bar near the hospital, what if we meet later tonight?"

Piper agreed and hung up on him, she wanted to kill whoever did this to Alex. In the last five years, everyone had grown to think of her as weak and pathetic, especially her own mother. But she didn't feel weak anymore, not after everything she had achieved with Alex in the last 12 months. She was determined to be strong for her family, she'd do whatever it took to look after Alex and find out who the hell did this to her.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The afternoon passed by slowly, Alex stayed asleep for most of it. The nurses came in regularly to check on her and give her more pain medication. Piper had already gone to find them twice as soon as she saw that grimace creep back onto her girlfriend's face. She didn't care how annoying they probably thought she was, she wasn't going to just sit there and watch Alex in pain without doing something about it.

Diane looked exhausted all day and refused to move from Alex's bedside. Piper knew exactly how she felt and didn't want to push her to leave, she knew how close they were. Piper was walking out of the hospital to go meet Fahri, and made a mental note to bring back coffee and food for Diane. She also wanted to stop by home and check on Nicky and Charlotte.

It didn't take long for her to get to the address Fahri had texted her. She walked through the front door and saw him sitting in a booth with a beer. Piper had no interest in drinking with him, she just wanted him to tell her what happened and get the hell out of there.

She slipped into the other side of the booth and waited for him to start talking.

He finally lifted his head and looked her in the eye, "How is she?"

Piper wasn't going to sugarcoat any of it for him, she wanted him to know that this job was destroying their lives.

"She's in a lot of pain."

"Will she pull through?"

"I don't know..."

That response was enough to make him look back down at the table.

"So what the hell happened last night?"

Fahri knew he needed to be careful about what he told Piper, but he knew Alex would tell her everything anyway, if she survived. Even though he knew Piper probably hated him, he didn't want to say anything to make Piper feel guilty about what happened.

"Alex was doing a job last night with another colleague, Aiden. It was meant to be straight forward, talking to some local competitors. But Aiden lost his fucking mind, he's the one that shot her."

Fahri stopped, wanting to gauge how much Piper would push him. He could see the anger in her eyes and instantly knew she wasn't going to make this easy.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because you have no other choice. I met with Kubra, trust me, he's not happy with Aiden."

"And what the hell will happen to that asshole?"

"He's dead..."

Piper's eyes widened, "What?"

"Everything happened at one of our warehouses, the CCTV cameras caught everything. When no one heard from Aiden or Alex last night, a few guys went to the warehouse. They found Aiden's body."

Fahri didn't want to tell her about the brother and sister, or the fact that Alex was there to help kill them.

"You need to let me see that footage."

"It's already been destroyed Piper, we don't leave that sort of stuff lying around."

He could see her trying to process everything she'd just heard, he felt genuinely sorry for her.

"Look, I saw the footage. He turned his gun on Alex, she went for him and they both ended up on the ground fighting for the gun. She shot him while they were fighting, she probably thought he was dead. She went to leave but he'd managed to get the gun and shoot her. She managed to get to her car and drive away, that's how she ended up on the street."

Piper couldn't believe what she was hearing, that Alex was forced to defend herself like that, it made her feel physically ill.

"Will she get in trouble?"

"Kubra isn't mad at her for killing Aiden, he's pissed at Aiden for fucking everything up."

What Fahri didn't tell her was that Kubra saw Alex refuse to shoot the young girl, and that was something she would need to answer for.

"What about the police?"

"We cleaned up everything at the warehouse, the police don't know anything about it. All they know is that Alex was shot, they'll never link it back to Aiden, we've taken care of it."

Fahri didn't know what Kubra would do to Alex for not going through with the job, but there would definitely be consequences. He was pretty confident he wouldn't kill her, she made him too much money, she was still worth something to him. But Kubra was furious over what Aiden did. If Alex didn't kill him, Kubra would have.

"Piper, I need to see her."

The blonde shook her head, "No, you don't."

"Kubra has asked me to see her."

"Why does he even care?"

"He cares about his ability to make money Piper, that's it! I know you don't like me, but I care about Alex."

"No, you don't fucking care about her at all. You can tell him you saw her, and that she's in fucking agony. I am _not_ letting you anywhere near her."

Fahri sighed, he couldn't be bothered fighting with her, "Fine, I'll tell him I saw her tonight but she wasn't up to talking. But I'll need to see her eventually."

"You can see her if she makes it out of the hospital, that's it."

Fahri nodded his understanding, "I know you don't believe me, but I really do care about Alex, let me know how she goes. I'll be in touch."

With that, Fahri finished his beer and left Piper sitting alone in the booth.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Piper walked out of the bar after Fahri left and headed straight back to the hospital, picking up a coffee and sandwich for Diane on the way. She kept running Fahri's words through her head, the fact that Alex had been forced to shoot Aiden, that she'd ended up killing him. Piper was desperate to talk to Alex about all of it, but she knew it wasn't possible yet. Besides, she wasn't sure how much Alex would want Diane to know, Piper needed to wait until she had Alex alone.

She walked back to Alex's bed and handed the coffee and sandwich to Diane, "Thanks sweetie."

Piper sat next to Alex's bed and was so happy to see the brunette open her eyes, "Hey Al, do you need anything?"

Alex shook her head, her voice was still strained, but each word was deliberate, "No, just you."

"I'm not going anywhere, you have no chance of getting rid of me Vause."

Piper could see her girlfriend's lips pull into a smile under the oxygen mask, and kissed her on the cheek.

"You need to keep resting Al."

But there was one question Alex needed to ask, "Is Charlie okay?"

"Yeah, Nicky's looking after her. I'll bring her in once you're feeling better."

"I miss her."

Piper could Alex's eyes starting to close again as she drifted back to sleep. It all made Piper love her even more, even in this situation, Alex was worried about their daughter more than anything else.

Diane seemed to notice the change on Piper's face, "She was so worried about being a shitty mum, but she was always gonna put that kid before everything else."

Piper agreed with Diane, she never doubted how much Alex would love their child. But she was pulled out of her thoughts by what Diane said next.

"I deserve to know what happened Piper, she's my daughter."

Piper felt so conflicted, Diane had done so much for her, and she wanted to tell her everything. But she knew Alex had always tried to shield her mum from everything to do with the cartel.

"Please Piper, I need to know what happened. All I want to do is help her."

Both Piper and Diane thought Alex was asleep, but they both heard her voice and saw the silent tears roll down her cheeks.

"Mum..."

Diane moved closer to the bed and pushed the hair from Alex's face, "You're meant to be sleeping."

"You'll hate me."

Diane could see how desperate Alex was to stay awake and keep talking.

"I could never hate you."

Alex's breathing was becoming more laboured as she kept fighting off sleep, but she was also getting upset.

"C'mon baby, you need to rest, I'll still be here when you wake up."

But Alex was feeling defiant, and kept shaking her head. After a few more moments, she managed to speak again.

"I couldn't do it mum."

Diane wasn't sure what to say and kept running her fingers through Alex's hair, trying to help her relax.

"I couldn't kill her."

Those words made Piper jump out of her seat, and Diane spoke again.

"What do you mean Alex?"

"He killed both of them. Then... Then he tried to kill me."

Diane and Piper could see the brunette desperately trying to keep her eyes open, and they were both worried about what she was saying.

"Don't leave..."

Diane kept running her fingers through Alex's long dark hair and kissed her cheek.

"I'm not leaving baby."

Alex finally gave into her exhaustion and closed her eyes.

Diane looked towards Piper on the other side of the bed, "Do you know what she's talking about."

Piper was still so shocked, she just stood there and shook her head. Then she felt her anger again, Fahri had lied to her.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex woke up again a few hours later when a nurse came to give her another dose of pain relief. Piper and Diane were still there, and Diane was desperate for Alex to tell her more.

"Do you remember what you were saying before?"

"Yeah..."

"What the hell did they do to you Alex?"

Diane started to get frustrated when Alex didn't say anything.

"I need to know baby, you need to tell me."

Alex groaned as she tried to take a deep breath, "My boss, he tried to make me kill someone. But she was just a kid mum..."

Diane wiped away her daughter's tears.

"Aiden wanted to kill me..."

Alex's eyes closed again as the medicine kicked in, Piper could see how worried and confused Diane was, she realised she owed Diane the truth. Piper managed to convince the older woman to take a walk with her, and told her about calling Fahri and the information he gave her.

"But he never said anything about trying to make her kill someone. I don't know what's really going on."

Both women were sitting on a park bench near the hospital, worried and confused.

"I don't like being kept in the dark Piper, especially when it comes to Alex."

"I know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Diane turned to face the blonde, "How would you feel if you had to watch Charlotte go through something like this?"

The thought made Piper's stomach churn, "It would kill me."

"Ever since she got involved with these fucking people, I feel like she's pushed me away."

Piper reached out and grabbed Diane's hand, "She's just trying to protect you."

"Well it's not working, is it?"

Piper shook her head.

"I just wanna look after my kid Piper. I wanna know what she's gotten herself into and I want her to be safe. Im so tired of seeing her hurt, of never knowing what's really going on in her life. We never used to have secrets, never."

Diane stared ahead blankly and kept talking, " I know why you didn't tell me, but it's not good enough anymore."

"I'm sorry Diane."

"I don't want to see her end up in jail, or dead, I just want her to have a normal life."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Time was going by so slowly, but Alex kept fighting every day. Every day, the brunette improved, and Piper was thankful for all of it, no matter how small. Even if it was just being awake for an extra 20 minutes, or needing one less dose of pain relief, Piper was thankful. It was another three days before Dr Russell let Alex leave the ICU and go to a regular ward. He said it might be another two weeks before Alex could go home, which felt like an eternity to Piper. It made Piper think about all those nights she'd spent alone while Alex was travelling, or when she had to work all night. She knew how hard the brunette had tried to extract herself from the cartel so that they could have a normal life, and Piper was so sure that's exactly why Alex had ended up here, in hospital. It was so frustrating, it was almost agonising. They had to live with danger if Alex stayed in the cartel, and Alex risked being killed if she tried to get out.

Nicky kept telling the blonde that she needed to focus on one day at a time, but Piper hated it. She wanted to plan her future with Alex, there was so much to look forward to. Things like picking a school for Charlotte, having another baby one day, moving into a house, family holidays, Piper wanted it all, and she didn't want to compromise. Most of all, she wanted Alex to stop feeling guilty, Piper could see it in her eyes every single day. Piper felt like Alex had saved her from her life with Jack, when she felt like she had absolutely nothing left. Alex had looked after her and protected her through all of it, now Piper was determined to do the same. She would look after Alex, and protect her as much as she could. She had to start believing there was a way out of this, she needed to have something to look forward to. Piper had to believe that her family had a chance.

It was the second day since Alex had been moved out of the ICU, and Piper wanted to bring Charlotte to visit her. Alex wouldn't be able to hold her daughter properly, but Piper knew how much she'd missed her. Alex's progress was still slow, but at least it was something. She was off antibiotics and oxygen, but pain was still an issue.

Diane, Piper and Charlotte all walked into Alex's room together, Alex hadn't seen her daughter since the day of the accident. The brunette was sleeping, but woke up as soon as she felt Piper's hand on her arm and heard her voice.

"Hey Al, someone's here to see you."

Alex smiled widely as soon as she saw her little girl. Her voice still sounded tired, "Hi Charlie, I've missed you so much."

Piper leaned down to kiss her girlfriend, she couldn't wait until Alex was home with her again. Alex then turned her attention to Diane, grabbing her hand, "Hi mum."

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, just tired."

Diane and Piper decided to wait until Alex was feeling better before asking her more about what happened that night. Not knowing and having to wait was agonising, but they both knew there was no point pushing Alex for more information before she was ready.

Diane kissed her daughter on the cheek and sat down next to the bed, "You should be home in a couple of weeks."

Alex knew that Diane wanted to know exactly what happened, but she was struggling to find the right words, "Mum, I promise I'll tell you everything."

"I know sweetie."

Piper wanted to break the tension and slowly lowered Charlotte onto the bed so she was lying in the crook of Alex's arm. The little girl had just woken up from a nap, and smiled as soon as she saw Alex.

Alex tucked the baby into her arm and pulled her in close, "I really did miss you kid, I love you."

Piper took a moment to just appreciate the scene in front of her, she could see all the emotion in Alex's face, she knew how guilty the brunette felt about what happened.

Alex kept running her fingers through Charlotte's hair, which only made her smile more, "Has she been sleeping much?"

"She's been restless the last few nights, but it hasn't affected her appetite. You've been a life saver Diane."

"Like I'd ever say no to spending more time with my grand kid."

Alex smiled and kept her focus on Charlotte's bright blue eyes, "I don't want to miss any more time with her."

Diane squeezed her daughters hand again, "You won't."

Alex felt like it was time to have an honest conversation with both Piper and Diane. She'd put them through hell, the least she could do was tell the the truth.

"I hate what I've put both of you through. I keep fucking up, I've put you guys through so much, you don't deserve any of it."

Piper tried to speak but Alex cut her off, "It's true Pipes, and now with the baby, I need to find a way to end all of this bulshit."

"Al, me and your mum just want you to focus on getting better."

"I know, but this is something I need to sort out, otherwise this shit will keep happening. And I don't want Charlotte growing up in this sort of environment. I don't want her to ever know about this part of my life, I don't want her to be ashamed of me, and I couldn't live with myself if I ever put her in danger."

Alex look across at her mum and took her hand, "I'm sorry mum." She didn't know what else to say, and her emotions were so mixed up, she still felt so tired. Alex felt like every time she tried to make things better, she just ended up making it worse. And she knew how much Diane had hated her job from the very start.

"You don't need to apologise to me Alex."

"How can you say that? Back when all this started, you begged me not to get involved with these guys, but I did it anyway."

Alex was speaking through her tears, she needed to be honest with Diane, she didn't want anymore secrets between them. Not now that things had gotten so bad.

"I'm so sorry mum, I'm such a fuck up." Alex tried to get her emotions under control and pulled Charlotte in closer to her.

Diane moved her hand to Alex's arm, "That's not what I think, I know how hard you're trying baby."

"But it's not enough, it's not enough..."

Piper leaned over the bed and kissed the brunette on the lips, "We love you so much Al. I know you might not believe us right now, but we don't think you're a fuck up, we think you're fucking amazing. You gave me a second chance at life, don't forget that. You saved me, both of you, I wouldn't be here without you."

Alex closed her eyes and tried to focus, she needed to keep remembering how far they'd all come. But she also wanted to be honest with both women about what happened the previous Friday night. She was so tired of keeping secrets, she was starting to realise that she couldn't do this alone, she needed their support. But she was so worried about Diane's reaction. Her mum never knew much about life in the cartel, and she had no idea how Diane would react to the truth.

"I want to tell both of you what happened."

Alex knew her mum deserved the truth. To be honest, life had gotten to a point where she wanted to tell Diane what happened, she needed that support. She'd always thought she was in control, at least to a certain extent, but not anymore. Now, she had no idea what to do or how to fix things. But she was so worried that Diane wouldn't even be able to look at her if she knew the truth.

"Please mum, I need to know that you'll still be here. I've never really told you much about work, please don't hate me..."

Diane leaned in closer and kissed her daughter on the cheek, "I'm not going anywhere baby, no matter what you tell me."

Diane took a moment to just hold Alex, it was the easiest way to let her know that she'd always stand by her, "Let me look after you for once Alex."

"You've spent your whole life looking after me mum."

"Hey, that's my job. And it's your job now with Charlie. It doesn't matter how old she gets or what she does, it'll always be your job to look out for her."

Alex looked back down at Charlotte, who was cuddled into her side. Then she finally worked up the courage to start talking. She asked Piper to close the door to the room, and kept her voice low.

"My boss was having trouble with a new group selling in the city. He...he wanted them dead."

Diane stayed silent, trying to take in Alex's words, she wanted to let her daughter finish talking.

"The night it happened, I was with another guy, Aiden. We were meant to do the job together. But I couldn't do it, they were just kids, that could've been me. I've had a lot of issues with Aiden, he's given me a hard time."

Diane sat there, clenching her jaw, she didn't know how to respond.

"He killed those kids like he didn't even care. I knew I had to get out of there, so I pointed my gun at him, I just needed to get out. But there were no fucking bullets in the gun he gave me, he fucking planned it. Then he turned his gun on me. I tried to get it away from him, I shot him, and he shot me."

Piper hated listening to those words, but she was glad to finally know the full story. Part of her wanted to talk to Fahri again, but she knew it would probably be a waste of time.

"I got in my car and drove away, someone must've found me on the street and called the cops. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital."

Piper sat there, not sure whether she should tell Alex that Aiden was dead.

"I need to talk to Fahri, I need to know what the fuck is going on, if I killed Aiden..."

Alex's anxiety was rising and Diane kept trying to calm her down. Alex handed the baby to Piper and started running her hands through her hair, anxiety was getting the better of her."

"I didn't wanna kill anyone that night, fuck!"

Diane took Alex's face in her hands, forcing the brunette to look at her, "Listen to me baby, you did what you needed to survive. You have a family to think about now."

Alex was crying by this point, "He had a family too."

"He tried to kill you Alex! He set you up, he killed those two kids, you didn't do anything wrong. Are you listening to me?"

Alex tried to catch her breath and nodded. She knew Diane was probably right, but she still didn't know how to feel about what she did.

Piper then realised she needed to tell Alex the truth.

"I spoke to Fahri."

But Alex didn't even react, letting Diane help her calm down, hugging her.

Piper shifted Charlotte in her arms and put a hand on Alex's shoulder, "Listen to me Al, I spoke to Fahri."

Alex finally seemed to hear her, Piper thought she'd be angry, but she just sounded worried, "Is Aiden dead?"

"Yes, but they're not angry at you for doing it, they know you didn't have a choice."

Alex lay back down slowly, and Piper placed Charlotte back on the bed next to her.

"Al, are you okay?"

But the brunette didn't respond, leaning in closer to Charlotte and kissing the top of her head.

 **A/N**

 **Hey folks, apologies for the delay, my brain has been mush this week, so tired.**

 **Let me know your thoughts on Chapter 8 - good or bad that Alex opened up and told Diane and Piper the truth?**

 **Cheers.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Another two days went by, Alex had become very quiet ever since telling Piper and Diane the truth. Piper tried to not worry about it, but she really didn't want Alex to close up again.

Diane was back at work, and Piper and Charlotte were visiting Alex. Their daughter seemed to be the only thing that could make Alex really smile over those last two days.

Piper didn't need to ask her girlfriend what was wrong, she was painfully aware of what the problem was. Alex felt guilty and ashamed, and now that she'd told Piper and Diane the truth, there was nowhere left to hide.

Alex was able to sit up more in bed, which meant she could hold Charlotte properly. She kept running her fingers through the blonde hair that made the little girl look so much like Piper.

'I wanna go home Pipes."

"You will be soon."

But Alex was feeling particularly frustrated, "Dr Russell said I'll probably be in here for another week."

Piper ran her fingers over Alex's arm, "And then you'll be back home with us."

Piper needed Alex to know that she still loved her, that she didnt think any less of her after what happened.

"Al, I know how hard it was for you to talk about what happened. I hate that you had to go through that. But I need you to believe me when I say it doesn't change anything. You did what you needed to survive."

Alex pulled Charlotte in closer to her chest, "I see those two kids every time I close my eyes."

"There was nothing you could do Al, it's not your fault."

Alex closed her eyes and kissed the top of Charlottes head, "Then why do I still feel like shit?"

Piper was about to try and make her girlfriend feel better when she noticed another person enter the room, and she was immediately angry when she realised who it was.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The blonde pounced as soon as she saw Fahri walk into the room, closing the door behind him.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from her! I don't want you anywhere near my family."

Alex had no idea what was going on, and tightened her grip on her daughter.

Fahri slowly walked further into the room as he looked towards Piper.

"I'm not here to cause you any trouble. I'm sorry but this couldn't wait, I need to speak to Alex alone."

But Alex had gone way past that point, she wanted Piper to know what was going on, no more secrets, no matter how much it might hurt.

"No, whatever you need to say to me, you can stay in front of her."

Fahri eyed the baby in Alex's arms, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I told her the truth anyway, she knows what happened."

Fahri stepped closer to the bed, "Is this your kid?"

"Yeah..."

Alex trusted Fahri, but she knew Piper would hate him being there and seeing Charlotte. She was thankful when he moved on.

"Kubra wants to see you, he wants to talk about what happened."

"I'll be here for another week."

"I'm not sure he's willing to wait that long."

Piper wasn't willing to stay silent any longer, "She nearly died, she isn't ready to go home. You know how bad it was..."

Fahri knew Piper was probably scared, but Kubra was done waiting, Fahri had no control over what would happen next.

"This isn't up for discussion Piper."

And now the blonde was mad, "You told me Alex wasn't in trouble, you told me he wasn't angry at her over what happened!"

Alex reached out with her free hand and tried to grab Piper's am, "It's okay Pipes."

"No, it's not okay Alex! He's a part of all this, he never mentioned those two kids to me, how can you trust him?"

"I know it might not seem like it, but we can trust Fahri, he's the only one in the cartel we can trust."

Piper was so frustrated at both Alex and Fahri, she hated the way her girlfriend just seemed to trust him. In Piper's mind, Fahri was part of the cartel, and he was part of the problem.

"Look, you need to know what's going on Alex, you need to be prepared. Kubra knows you didn't go through with the job, he's not happy."

Alex had assumed Kubra would probably know the truth, but there was nothing she could do about it.

"They were fucking kids Fahri! Aiden killed both of them anyway..."

"That's not the point and you know it! He told you to do something, and you didn't do it, that's all he's gonna see. He doesn't care how old those kids were, all he cares about is that they were costing him money."

Fahri saw the distant look on his friend's face. He knew Alex wasn't built for killing, but he had really hoped she'd go through with it. The only thing that was keeping her alive now, was her ability to make their boss more money.

"He knows you needed to protect yourself against Aiden. Trust me, if you died and Aiden lived, Kubra would've put a hit out on him."

Piper just wanted Fahri out of that room, "Is that meant to make us feel better?"

Fahri rubbed his eyes, "Quite frankly yes, it should make you feel better."

Alex started rubbing Piper's arm while she held Charlotte against her chest.

"So what does he want from me?"

"He wants you to meet him at his office tomorrow night."

Alex knew that she'd probably end up doing some serious damage if she tried to discharge herself now. She'd only just managed to sit up again, and she was no where near being able to just walk out of the hospital.

"You know that's not possible. It'll raise too much suspicion if I demand to leave the hospital now. The police are already sniffing around, I can't risk drawing more attention to myself."

Alex wouldn't admit how relieved she was when she saw Fahri considering the situation.

"Fine. If he agrees to it, you'll need to talk to him on the phone. He won't wait another week Alex, not after everything he's given you, it's more than anyone else has ever gotten."

Piper was fuming at the suggestion that Alex should be gracious when she'd almost been killed. Alex could practically feel the tension radiating from her girlfriend.

"It's okay Pipes."

"How can you sit there and tell me it's okay? I refuse to watch you die Alex, I won't do it."

"Piper, I know you don't trust me, but I'll do whatever I can to keep Alex safe."

"So then you're admitting that she's not safe?"

Fahri closed his eyes, this was exactly why he wanted to speak to Alex alone.

"Right now, no, she's not safe."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Fahri left after another ten minutes, agreeing to bring Alex a phone the next day so she could speak to Kubra.

If anything, Alex felt like she held some of the power, given what she knew about the murders. But threatening Kubra in any way would need to be perfectly planned.

Charlotte had fallen asleep lying on Alex's chest, and Piper was pacing the room.

"C'mon Pipes, sit with me."

But Piper wasn't listening, she needed a plan, they both needed a plan. She wasn't willing to sit there and wait for Alex to become another one of Kubra's victims. No, the last few years had taught her there is always a way through to the other side, you just need to be willing to find it.

Piper had gone into survival mode. She knew her girlfriend had been through so much and was still healing, but she still didn't like how relaxed Alex seemed to be about the whole situation.

"I can't sit next to you Alex and pretend like everything is fine."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"That's exactly what you're doing! You have a daughter now, you have me, I need you to fight harder than this Alex!"

The brunette had no idea how to respond, and so kept looking down at the sleeping baby in her arms.

"You taught me how to be strong again Al. That even when life hurts so much, you have to find a way to survive."

"I'm tired Pipes, I'm really fucking tired."

The tone of Alex's voice finally made Piper sit next to her girlfriend and take her hand. She didn't remember ever hearing Alex sound so vulnerable.

"I just want more time with her before making any crazy decisions. I just wanna play house for a while with my girlfriend and our kid. That's all I ever wanted Pipes..."

Piper finally understood what her girlfriend needed, and gently kissed her on the lips.

"Okay..."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The next night came too quickly for Alex, she couldn't ignore the situation any longer. Fahri would be there any minute and she'd be forced to talk to Kubra.

Diane was at home with Charlotte, while Piper stayed with Alex.

"Are you gonna tell your mum about this?"

"I don't know..."

Piper leaned in to kiss Alex again, she'd missed those lips so much. Intimacy with the brunette felt like a drug, it made her feel almost invincible.

Piper pulled away as soon as she heard the footsteps behind her, it was Fahri.

Piper saw the pained look on Alex's face as she tried to sit up more, "Hey, you still need to take it easy."

Alex tried to brush it off, but Piper wasn't interested in hearing it, "You can't even walk on your own yet, don't even try to tell me you're okay. You're not okay Alex."

Fahri stood back, not wanting to get in the way. He knew how stubborn Alex was, he'd seen it in her from the first moment they met.

After a few moments of silence, Fahri walked towards the bed and handed Alex the phone.

"There's only one number in there, hit dial when you're ready."

Alex stared at the small phone for what felt like forever. It wasn't until she felt Piper's lips on her cheek that she worked up the courage to hit that button. She couldn't forget what this was all about, what she was fighting for.

It rang four times before Alex heard her bosses voice.

"How are you feeling Alex?"

"I'm okay."

"Good, then I assume you'll be coming back to work soon?"

Alex had learnt the hard way what it meant to say no to this man, so she closed her eyes and told him what he wanted to hear.

"Yeah, of course."

"I am sorry about what happened. Seems Aiden was more than a little jealous of your skill sets."

There was a long silence before he started talking again.

"So tell me Alex, you can kill one of your own colleagues, but not someone that's competing against us?"

Now Alex was talking through clenched teeth, "He tried to fucking kill me, he set me up!"

"And you didn't hesitate in killing him. So you see Alex, you can kill if you have to."

There was another long silence before Alex found her voice again, "Just tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to get back to work. You've got three weeks Alex, then you'll be going back to Bali."

"That was never part of the deal!"

Piper could see the pain on Alex's face as she got angry, it was pretty clear the call wasn't going well.

"You broke the deal when you didn't go through with your last job!"

Alex knew that it was useless arguing with him, Aiden trying to kill her was irrelevant. All that mattered was that Kubra saw her refusing to kill for him.

"You left quite the impression on Naya last time you were there, seems there are a lot of good opportunities for us, opportunities that only you can unlock."

There was more silence, Alex didn't want to hear anymore.

"Your flight is booked, don't let me down."

"And how long do you expect me to stay there?"

But Kubra had already hung up. Alex knew that if she got on that plane, she wouldn't be coming back home anytime soon.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Two weeks had passed and Dr Russell was finally willing to let Alex go home. The brunette was beyond relieved, but was over being told how lucky she was, how much worse it could've been.

 _I get it okay, I could've ended up six feet under, but I didn't. I don't need to be constantly reminded of how close I came to death._

Alex had begged Piper not to tell Diane about the phone call with Kubra, which she finally agreed to. But it made Piper feel so guilty. She'd promised Diane to not keep secrets anymore when it came to Alex's work, and now here she was, lying again.

Every time she tried to convince Alex to be honest with Diane, she got the same response, "Nothing has even happened yet Pipes, I don't want to freak her out over nothing, not yet."

And every time, Piper fired back the same words, "Being sent to another country against your will, indefinitely, is not nothing!"

Then it would always end in tears, hugs and soft I love yous. Alex kept insisting that she wasn't going to Bali forever, but Piper couldn't believe her, not after how bad things had gotten.

When they weren't fighting over the right thing to do, the apartment was quiet, and they could both almost pretend they were a proper family.

It was the second day the brunette had been sent home with pain relief and strict orders to rest. Alex fell asleep in bed during the afternoon, lying on top of the blankets. She was lying on her back with her dark hair spread across the pillow, when Piper walked into the room to put Charlotte down for a nap. Alex's t-shirt was riding up her stomach, Piper could almost see the wound from the bullet. She sat on the edge of the bed and slowly lifted the t-shirt until she could see it. It was so stupid, it was the smallest little mark, and it had almost killed Alex. Piper was still looking at it, when Alex started to wake up.

The brunette opened her eyes and pulled Piper down next to her, "We should have pizza for dinner."

Piper knew that Alex just wanted life to go back to normal, but she wasn't sure how to do that. She felt Alex's fingers run through her hair and tried to lose herself in the moment. Piper closed her eyes and soon felt Alex's lips brush against her own.

"What can I do to make you smile again?"

"Just don't go anywhere, stay here with us."

Alex pulled the blonde in closer and whispered in her ear, "I'm not going anywhere Pipes."

I...I don't think I can watch you get hurt again."

Piper wasn't surprised when her girlfriend didn't respond.

"Don't tell me that it won't happen again. Telling me convenient lies isn't protecting me Alex, it just makes me sad."

Piper had thought about asking Alex to go to the police and tell them everything, but then the various possibilities started flooding her mind. What if Alex was put in prison for a long time? What if someone tried to kill her for selling out the cartel to the cops? Piper couldn't see a way out of this...

"I'm never leaving you Pipes."

There was nothing left for Alex to say, so she did the only other thing that always reminded Piper how much she loved her, and leaned in for another kiss.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

The two women lay on their bed for another twenty minutes, just kissing. Piper eventually broke away to have a shower before Diane came over for dinner, and Alex looked after Charlotte.

Alex ended up sitting on the lounge room floor with Charlotte, who was lying on her stomach trying to reach the dinosaur toy in front of her.

Just like she did most days, Alex talked to her daughter, constantly wondering what was going on in her little brain.

"You know what kid, your mum loves the pepperoni pizza from down the street, maybe we should pick some up for dinner. I don't even think she's had pepperoni since before she got pregnant with you. Just so you know, your mum seriously loves pepperoni."

Alex kept her eyes fixed on her baby, who was blissfully unaware of how fucked up their lives currently were.

"I've given her a bit of a hard time lately, so she deserves a treat, even if it's just pizza. But remember, your grandma Diane hates pepperoni, so we should get something else for her. And if your aunt Nicky comes, we definitely need to order extra. She didn't like me much when we first met, but things are okay now."

Piper was lazily drying her hair with a towel when she hear Alex's voice drifting into the hallway. Piper quietly walked towards the doorway and took in the scene in front of her, the love of her life and their daughter.

That scene right there, that's what she was most afraid of losing.

 **A/N**

 **I'm curious to know, what are your thoughts on the relationship between Alex and Piper?**

 **Cheers.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Alex ordered pepperoni and vegetarian pizzas to be delivered in an hour, with Nicky and Diane walking into the apartment as soon as she got off the phone.

This was the first time Diane had seen her daughter since she was released from the hospital, and impatiently pulled her into a hug.

"How are you feeling baby?"

Alex held onto her mother a moment longer than she normally would, she needed that extra reassurance more than ever right now.

"I'm good, just happy to be home."

Diane pulled back from the hug and looked her daughter in the eye, "What are you not telling me Alex?"

"It's nothing mum..."

Diane decided to leave it and followed Nicky into the kitchen where Piper was sitting with Charlotte.

Diane picked up the little girl and smothered her with kisses, giving Nicky the opportunity to speak to Alex alone.

Nicky sat next to Alex on the couch and handed her a can of diet coke, "You know mother's can sniff out a lie like a blood hound, right?"

Alex laughed, "Thanks for the reminder."

"Look, I know it hasn't always been smooth sailing between you and me. But I've spent a lot of time with your mum, and she is one fucking patient woman."

"What are you trying to say Nicky?"

"All I'm saying is that she's worried about you, and she's more than earned the right to get the truth from you."

Alex had to sigh at that response, "And you're suggesting I'm not telling her the truth?"

"Are you?"

Alex ignored the question and sipped her drink, she was not in the mood for this.

"Believe it or not, I don't totally hate you these days Vause, you could even say I liked you. I don't want to see bad shit happen to you. And in case you haven't noticed, Diane has become a mum to Piper too."

"I get it Nicky."

"I'm not so sure you do. Who do you think she calls with baby questions? It sure as hell isn't Carol Chapman, it's Diane Vause. So ya know, be nice to your mother."

Nicky was happy to see the smile on Alex's face, but she wasn't quite done yet.

"Have the cops spoken to you?"

"Yeah, I gave them a statement, not that it said much."

Nicky didn't want to push the brunette anymore, she knew dealing with the police would be messy in this situation.

"Listen, I wanted to say thanks for looking after Charlotte while I was in the hospital. And thanks for being there for Piper."

"C'mon Vause, don't go getting all sappy on me. It's what friends do, right?"

"Yeah, right," Alex wasn't done feeling sorry for herself, and she couldn't be bothered hiding it.

"So how are you really feeling? No need to give me the same bulshit answer you gave your mum."

Alex finally managed to make eye contact with Nicky, "Guilty..."

"Yeah, I get it Alex. But you don't have that luxury anymore, you don't get to hang around and mope."

"Save your motivational speech Nicky."

"No, you need to hear it, especially now that there's a kid in the picture."

Nicky stopped talking when Diane walked into the lounge room holding Charlotte. She sat down on the couch next to Alex and kissed her on the cheek. Nicky excused herself to go to the bathroom, but in reality she was hoping that Alex would open up to her mother.

Diane pushed a few stray strands of hair behind Alex's ear, "You have no idea how good it is to see that you're okay."

Alex shuffled closer and rest her head on Diane's shoulder, "I never meant to push you away mum, I thought I was protecting you. I need you now more than ever."

"I'm not going anywhere baby, no matter what happens."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was almost midnight, Piper and Alex had finally managed to get Charlotte back to sleep and found themselves sitting on the couch. It had been a while since they'd truly talked to each other, the type of talking where no questions are off limits and you completely lose track of time.

There was one topic Piper couldn't get out of her head, and that was why the hell Alex stayed loyal to Fahri.

"I know you don't understand it, but I do trust Fahri, a lot. My life was completely different before I met him. I was living in a shitty trailer park with my mum and we had nothing. She worked all the fucking time, and it got her nowhere. I never went to college, we could never afford that, I barely finished high school. I just didn't care Pipes, people like us were stuck, and any boyfriend my mum managed to find was a total asshole. The only time we got to live in an actual house, was when one of her boyfriends' let us move in. You know what most of them were like, most of them weren't nice guys Piper. I couldn't live like that anymore, I couldn't let her live like that."

The blonde remembered back to all the stories Alex had told her about some of Diane's boyfriend's. It made her skin crawl to think about Alex and Diane going through all that. The Diane she knew was so strong and amazing, she can't imagine her ever staying with an abusive person. But then she wasn't exactly one to judge, if it hadn't been for Alex and Diane, she might never have had the courage to leave Jack.

"The only work I could get was at shitty cafes and diners, no one wants to hire a person with no education and no experience. And then I met Fahri…."

Piper slid closer to her girlfriend and leaned her head on her shoulder, "How did you meet him?"

"I served him one night at one of the cafes I worked at, he was chatty, we got talking. He kept coming in for a few months, and we'd talk every time. He talked about what he did for a living and asked if I was interested. I was young, I had nothing, I said yes in a heartbeat."

"So you spent a lot of time with him?"

"Yeah, he taught me the ropes. I'm not saying it was always perfect or that I never fucked up, but I couldn't let go of the idea of getting Diane out of that fucking trailer park and away from her asshole boyfriends that treated her like she was nothing. I couldn't watch her go through that anymore."

Piper kept thinking about Alex's words. She'd never had to deal with being poor, she had everything she ever needed when she was growing up, materially at least. Piper could certainly understand why the brunette had joined the cartel in the first place. She snapped back to reality as Alex kept talking.

"I wasn't stupid, I knew it was all illegal, but I still fucking loved it. It gave me freedom and money, it gave me power over things I'd never been able to control in the past. I loved it, all I wanted was to keep getting better at my job, keep impressing the right people. But then I met you…"

Piper lifted her head from Alex's shoulder and kissed the side of her mouth, "I'll never forget the first time I met you."

The blonde was happy to see a small smile spread across Alex's lips, "I wanted you from that first night. Fuck, standing so close to you in that bathroom stall, I don't think I've ever wanted to touch someone as badly as I wanted to touch you."

Piper smiled and moved so she was straddling her girlfriend's lap on the couch, "Was I worth the wait?"

Alex responded by putting her hands on Piper's cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss. She was feeling a lot better this week, and she needed to feel Piper against her. Alex wanted everything, she wanted to fuck her, she wanted to make love to her, nothing could ever match the feeling of watching the blonde come undone and knowing it was all because of her. It made her feel possessive over Piper, like she was the only one in the world that could look after her and protect her. Alex focused all her energy on that kiss, and felt Piper's hands slowly move down her chest.

Alex thought she'd healed enough, and her body was more than ready for sex, she had been craving sex with her girlfriend. That was, until Piper moved her body on Alex's lap and accidentally knocked her in the stomach.

"Aghh, fuck!"

Piper immediately moved off Alex's lap, "Shit! I'm so sorry Al! Are you okay?"

Alex was doubled over on the couch for a few moments until she got her breath back, and managed a laugh.

"Just so you know, I have no desire to go back to hospital."

Piper managed her own laugh and rubbed her girlfriend's back, "It was an accident you jerk!"

Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her in for a hug, "Just be gentle with me. Otherwise I'll need to tell Dr Russell that I landed back in hospital because my girlfriend couldn't keep her hands off me."

"Will your ego ever disappear?"

"That's all part of my charm, I'm pretty sure that's why you fell for me in the first place."

Piper smiled and leaned her head against Alex's chest, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in her arms. Then she started actually thinking about why she fell in love with the woman in front of her.

"I'd never met anyone like you."

Both women kept sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around each other, and got lost in their own thoughts about their relationship. Then Alex told Piper something, one of the few things that made her feel ashamed about herself.

"I hate what my job did to you Pipes. I always managed to convince myself that if people wanted to do drugs, then that was their choice. I never thought too much about what happened when the heroin we imported ended up on the streets, until I met you. Seeing what it did to you, that was the first time I had to face the reality of my job. I've never apologised to you.."

"No Al, there's nothing to apologise for. It was my choice to use, just like it was your choice. And we chose to quit, together."

Alex slowly nodded her head, but didn't say anything.

"Al, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking that…..that when I saw what heroin did to you, I didn't wanna do this job anymore. But it was also when I had to be away from you, especially when you needed me most, I wanted out so fucking bad."

"And I know you're trying to get out, that's all that matters."

Piper could see Alex's mind wandering, and forced the brunette to look her in the eye, "We all do what we need to survive, our choices aren't always split between right and wrong. Life isn't that straight forward Al."

"I know Pipes, I know…."

Alex pulled Piper in for another kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex and Piper fell asleep that night with their arms wrapped around each other, they were both exhausted. It was almost 2am when both women woke up to the sound of crying from the corner of the room, Charlotte had woken up again.

Alex could feel Piper's body moving to get up, "Stay in bed babe, I'll get her."

But Piper could be just as stubborn as her girlfriend, "You can't pick her up from the crib yet Al, you'll be back in the hospital in 5 seconds."

Alex scrunched up her face and ignored the blonde, following her to the crib. She watched as Piper leaned over and picked up the crying baby.

"You don't listen, do you Vause?"

"Are you just realising this now?"

Alex walked up behind the blonde and touched her daughter's face, trying to calm her down, "Do you think she's hungry?"

"I think so, will you make her a bottle?"

"Sure."

Alex kissed her girlfriend on the cheek and went into the kitchen to prepare Charlotte's milk. In the meantime, Piper moved her little girl onto her shoulder and tried to calm her down.

"It's okay sweetie, your Mummy will be back with your bottle soon."

Piper kept rubbing her little back and swaying her gently, but her screams just kept getting louder. Piper hated hearing their baby cry like this, it made her feel helpless.

"C'mon Charlie, your milk is nearly ready."

Alex eventually walked back into the room with the bottle of milk and handed it to Piper, "Here you go Charlie."

As soon as Piper offered her the bottle, Charlotte started drinking. Alex led the blonde to sit back down on the bed, and sat next to her. Piper looked between her girlfriend and their daughter, and started wondering how she was meant to do this on her own if Alex went to Indonesia and never came back.

"I can't do this without you Alex. If you get on that plane next week...I feel like I'll never see you again."

Alex sighed, it was so hard to respond to that. She still had no real plan, she could only push Kubra so far before he killed her, no matter how good she was. She knew she had to get out of this trip, she'd already asked Fahri to help her find a way out. If she got on that plane, it would probably be at least a year before he let her come back. She couldn't miss the first year of Charlotte's life, and she couldn't go a whole year without seeing Piper.

"I'm not getting on that plane Pipes."

Piper didn't want Alex to go, but she was so afraid of what would happen to her if she stayed, "What's your plan?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm meant to meet up with Fahri tomorrow, he's gonna help me find a way out of this."

"I know you trust him Al, but I don't."

"Pipes, I don't know how to explain it to you, but I know I can trust him. Besides, I don't exactly have any other options, I can't get out of this on my own."

Charlotte had stopped drinking and Piper placed the baby on her shoulder and started rubbing her back.

"Are you telling me everything?"

"Yes, I promise, I'm not keeping anything from you."

Piper tried to focus on her daughter, but fear was starting to take over, "I wanna come tomorrow."

"No, that's not an option."

"Why?"

Alex stood up and started pacing the room, "Because, the further away you are from all this, the safer you are. I can't live with myself if you get hurt because of me."

Piper felt the tears stinging her eyes, but she was more angry than anything else. She stood up from the bed and placed Charlotte back in her crib, before turning her attention to Alex. She didn't want to wake the baby up, and dragged the brunette into the lounge room.

"You can't use that fucking excuse anymore Alex!"

"It's not a fucking excuse! How can you say that?"

"Because I can't keep going through this with you Al! Not knowing where you are, or what you're planning, it's driving me insane. I'm coming with you tomorrow, and I'm gonna be there to hear exactly what happens. I need to know what's gonna happen to you, don't you get that?"

"I get it Piper."

"No, no I don't think you do. What's the difference between this situation, and that night I went to Jack's house on my own?"

Alex started pacing again and walked into the kitchen to grab herself a beer.

"I thought I was protecting you and Nicky that night. I thought that I could handle it myself. I didn't want you guys to get pulled into my relationship drama again. You'd already gotten hurt because of my relationship with Jack, so you see, I thought I was protecting you. I thought that if I went to the house on my own, no one could get hurt but me. Fuck, I was so wrong. If I had just fucking stuck to the plan and not gone to the house on my own, you wouldn't have gotten hurt that night."

"It's not the same Pipes..."

"It's exactly the same!"

Alex could see how upset Piper was getting. She went to hug the blonde, who pushed her away.

"No! How much longer are we gonna keep doing this to each other? How much longer do you think we can keep lying to each other because we think it's the only way to keep each other safe?"

Piper went to walk past Alex, but the brunette tried to hug her again. Piper kept trying to push her away, but Alex wasn't about to let go. She kept holding onto the blonde until she stopped fighting against her, and eventually started crying into her shoulder.

"Please Alex..."

Alex tightened her grip on the blonde, "Okay, you can come with me tomorrow. I never wanted to make you feel like this Pipes, I thought I was doing the right thing."

Piper tried to bury her face further into Alex's shoulder, "We both thought we were doing the right thing."

"I'll get my mum to watch Charlotte, then we'll go meet Fahri after lunch."

Piper managed to slowly calm down, she felt better knowing that Alex wouldn't be meeting Fahri alone, but she was still scared.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Both women were exhausted by the time 9am rolled around. Piper had gotten up once more during the night to feed Charlotte around 5am, Alex slept through the whole thing. The brunette rolled over and draped an arm over her girlfriend, "What do I tell my mum?"

"Mmhhh, what?" Piper was still very much asleep and was not ready to wake up.

"I need to ask her to babysit while we see Fahri, what am I meant to tell her?"

Piper pulled Alex's arm into her chest and closed her eyes again, "The truth."

"The truth…."

Piper sighed and turned around to face Alex, "Yeah, the truth. You're gonna tell her that we're trying to find a way out of this. Al, things have gotten so fucked up, you can't lie to her anymore."

"Pipes, the less she knows, the less she needs to worry about the police."

"Give me a break Al, its gone way past that point. Have you forgotten that you nearly died a few weeks ago?"

Alex had to look away from Piper's stare, and shook her head.

"Every time our lives are falling apart, your mum is always there. She did it when I left Jack, and she's doing it now. You can't lie to her anymore."

Piper put a hand on the brunette's chin and forced her to look up. Piper expected her to look annoyed but she didn't, she just looked worried.

"What are you afraid of?"

Alex looked back into Piper's eyes, "Everything, nothing, I have no idea…"

They lay in bed with each other for a little while longer until Piper forced Alex to call Diane and ask her to babysit. Alex was secretly hoping she wouldn't answer the phone, but of course she did.

"Hey baby."

Alex put all her focus into controlling the tremble in her voice, "Hi mum, are you busy after lunch?"

"No I'm free all day, I covered Sherry's last two shift so she's covering for me today."

"Would you mind watching Charlotte for a while?"

"Of course not, you know I love babysitting. You girls heading out for a romantic lunch?"

That's when Alex could feel her heart beating in her chest, "No, I promise I'll explain everything when you get here."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't wanna talk about it over the phone."

Alex hung up the phone after a few more minutes and rolled back into Piper's arms.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Diane was knocking on their door a few hours later, worried about what Alex was about to tell her.

Just like every other time, Diane picked up Charlotte as soon as she saw her, with the little girl resting into her familiar embrace.

They all sat together at the kitchen table, with Alex taking one more deep breathe before telling her mum the truth.

"We'll be out for two or three hours this afternoon. I, ummm, I need to speak to one of the guys I work with."

Diane immediately looked worried, "Is everything okay?"

Alex was about to roll out her usual lie that everything was fine, until Piper interrupted her, "No, everything is not okay."

Diane gave Piper a thankful look, she knew Alex struggled with talking about these things. Piper put an arm around her girlfriend and kept talking, the way Alex was biting her bottom lip made it very clear that she was done talking.

"Alex's boss is trying to make her go back to Indonesia, indefinitely."

Diane's eyes kept darting between the two women sitting across from her, "What! Why? You told me all that Indonesian crap was over, that you wouldn't need to travel there anymore."

Alex managed to find her voice again, but only just, "Yeah, well, that deals off the table now. All because, fuck, because I couldn't pull that trigger."

Piper started rubbing Alex's back as she put her head in her hands, trying to keep it together.

"Baby…."

"He thinks I'm fucking pathetic mum, all because I wouldn't kill some 20 year old kid that made all the same fucking mistakes I made ten years ago."

Diane was completely lost for words, and waited for Alex to keep talking.

"If I get on that plane, I won't be coming home any time soon. It's just gonna keep on happening, I can't fucking shake this."

Piper could feel her shaking and kept trying to calm her down, "It's okay Al."

It took a few moments but Alex finally composed herself, "Anyway, we're meeting with a guy I work with. He's not a bad person mum, there have been so many times when he could've let the cartel swallow me whole, but he didn't. I don't know what else to do, I need him to help me find a way out, to find a way off that fucking plane."

Alex could see her mum trying to process everything she'd just been told. The older woman eventually looked at Piper, "You're going with her?"

"I won't let her go alone."

"Okay. Alex, I don't know what to say. But I meant every word I said in the hospital, I'm not going anywhere."

Alex closed her eyes, still trying to keep her emotions in check, "Look, I don't know what's gonna happen. Everything might blow up in my face, but I need to try."

Diane reached across the table and grabbed her daughter's hand, "I know baby, just please be careful."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was another hour before Alex and Piper were walking into Fahri's apartment, and he clearly wasn't happy about Piper's presence.

"She shouldn't be here Alex."

Piper didn't wait for Alex to respond, "Why shouldn't I be here? I love her, and I have every right to know what the fuck is going on. I'm not the one that's been putting her in danger all these years, you are!"

Piper held his stare, determined to make sure he knew that he couldn't intimidate her.

Fahri poured himself a scotch, annoyed by the whole situation, "Alex is a big girl Piper, she wanted this job, I didn't force her."

Piper scoffed, "Really? So you didn't prey on a vulnerable young girl so you could get her to do all your dirty work?"

"Shut your fucking mouth..." Fahri's words were slow and deliberate as he stared at her from across the room, the only reason he was even allowing Piper into his home was because she was Alex's girlfriend.

Alex grabbed Piper's hand, "Pipes, you need to stay calm. Please babe, he's my only way out of this."

Alex practically whispered those last few words, but Piper could still hear her. She could see the absolute begging look in those green eyes, and tried to remind herself where she was. She knew that Fahri had done Alex more than a few favours over the years, but that didn't mean she had to like him.

Fahri led them into a back office where everyone sat down, ready to talk about this fucking nightmare.

He lit up a cigarette and started talking, "I've spoken to Kubra, convinced him to meet with us in a couple days to discuss things."

Fahri was being vague, and it was making Alex uncomfortable, "So, what are we gonna say in this meeting?"

"Let me do the talking Alex."

"You need to give me more than that, what does he even think this meeting is for?"

Fahri looked his friend dead in the eye, he knew she had every right to be worried, but this was one instance where he needed her to do what she was told without asking any questions.

"I need you to trust me on this one Alex. All I need you to do is come to the meeting, I'll take care of the rest."

Alex felt so conflicted, but all Piper felt was anger, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Piper could feel Alex grabbing her hand under the table, but she didn't care. This whole plan was insane, and Piper couldn't let her go through with it.

"We need to hear him out Pipes."

"No, Alex! This isn't a plan! Just showing up for a meeting with the man that has complete control over your life, when you have no idea what's going on, that's not a good plan!"

Fahri had officially lost his patience with Piper, "You don't know shit about this world Piper! You have no fucking clue! And you know nothing about me, so shut the fuck up about things you don't understand!"

Alex could feel Piper about to yell again and stopped her, "Piper! I know you're scared, I'm scared too. I'm fucking petrified, but I don't have any other options."

Piper was absolutely fuming at Alex's continued blind faith in this man, "There is no fucking way I am letting you go to this meeting alone when you don't even know what the plan is!"

Those words pushed Fahri over the edge and he threw his scotch glass across the room and glared at Alex, "You'd better fucking control her Alex."

Piper stood up and knocked her chair over in the process, this was exactly why Alex didn't want her girlfriend to be involved in any of it. Piper ran on pure emotion at times, which was not a good mix when it came to people like this. Aside from the fact that this whole discussion would just make the blonde more worried and anxious.

Alex stood up and put her hands on Piper's face, forcing the blonde to slow down and pay attention.

"Pipes, I need you to calm down," but Piper still had her eyes focussed on Fahri.

"C'mon Piper, please look at me, please."

Piper recognised the desperation in Alex's voice and finally looked at her.

"It's too dangerous for both of us to be at that meeting, just in case something goes wrong. One of us needs to be around for Charlotte….."

Piper could literally feel her heart breaking in her chest, but that feeling was very quickly replaced by more anger as she pushed her girlfriend away, "Fuck you Alex!"

Alex knew that look on the blonde's face, she was ready to run out of the apartment, but Alex grabbed her arm.

"Talk to me Piper!"

"Why do you keep telling me that you'll always be here if you're so fucking scared of getting killed!"

Alex kept her grip on Piper's arm, she needed the blonde to hear her out, "Because, that's what I need to keep telling myself. Okay, so it's no huge secret that I don't have 100% control over my life right now, but you need to believe that I'll always come back to you."

Alex felt Piper's arm go limp, and finally there was silence. Fahri had stayed in the corner of the room, watching the two women yell at each other. He felt for Alex in that moment, he could see how much strain she was under, this was exactly why he avoided serious relationships.

All three of them eventually sat down again, and Fahri started talking, "Piper, it's best if you're not there."

"Whatever…."

"Alex, meet me here at 11 pm on Thursday night, I'll drive us to the meeting."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Their drive home was mostly silent, Piper was mad, but it was worth it for Alex. She had no idea what would happen at that meeting with Kubra, and she wasn't willing to put the blonde in that much danger.

There were only two things Alex could control about that meeting - making sure Piper wasn't there, and whether or not she would bring a gun. The brunette had been completely honest with Piper about everything else, but she wouldn't be telling her about that gun.

"Talk to me Pipes."

But all Alex got from her girlfriend was an icy stare. It was this level of stubbornness that drove Alex nuts.

"I know you probably hate me a little right now, I don't blame you. But this is the only way I can keep you safe."

Still, all Alex got in return was silence.

It wasn't much longer before they were home and Alex had parked the car. Piper tried to open her door, but it was locked. She finally spoke, but she still wouldn't look Alex in the face.

"Let me out."

"No," Alex kept her voice calm and low, which made the blonde even angrier.

"Open the fucking doors!"

Again, Alex gave the same response, "No."

More silence followed, until Piper's voice filled the small space again.

"Why are these meetings perfectly safe when you're there, but too dangerous for me?"

Alex shrugged, "I don't know, you being there will just be one more thing for me to worry about."

"And you can only focus on one thing at a time?"

"Exactly."

The two women stayed sitting in silence, Alex didn't think there was anything she could say to make Piper feel better. She was relieved to eventually hear Piper's voice, even if it was a whisper.

"I really fucking hate you sometimes..."

Those words hit Alex hard, she unlocked the doors and watched her girlfriend walk into their apartment building. They'd never had a fight like this before, Alex wasn't sure she knew how to process it. All she did know was that she wasn't ready to walk back into that apartment. She started the car again and drove back to Fahri's place, she needed something, anything, to help her get through this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Piper slammed the front door as she walked back into the apartment, she didn't remember ever being this angry at Alex. She didn't know what to do with all this anger. She wanted to yell and scream, she wanted to throw things, she wanted to run away. But she also wanted Alex to come back to her. She wanted her life to be easier, but not without Alex.

Most of all, Piper wanted her girlfriend to listen to her. She hated the way Fahri immediately dismissed her opinion, and Alex didn't defend her at all. Piper felt like she was being treated like an idiot because she hadn't chosen a life of crime and could never possibly understand their world. She understood enough, she understood that Alex was taking huge risks. She understood that her daughter could end up growing up without one of her parents.

Piper was so angry at Alex for not listening to her. But most of all, she was angry at Alex for not being careful enough with her own life.

Piper slumped onto the couch and stared at the blank tv screen across the room. Diane eventually walked out of the bedroom, where she'd just put Charlotte down for a nap.

Diane sat next to the blonde and placed a hand on her thigh, she could see the strain in Piper's face.

"How'd it go?"

Piper closed her eyes for a moment, swallowed, and tried to not take out her anger on the older woman.

"Shitty..."

Piper let Diane put an arm around her shoulders and pull her in closer, she didn't want to admit how good it actually felt, especially when she wasn't done being angry.

"C'mon sweetie, talk to me."

Piper knew that if she let herself start talking, she might never stop. She was torn between making herself feel better and not wanting to upset Diane.

"I told her I hated her...She won't listen to me Diane. They sat there and dismissed everything I said, she didn't defend me against him, instead she begged me to be quiet."

Piper let her head rest against Diane's shoulder, "She's so fucking stubborn."

"So what's happening next?"

"They're all having a meeting on Thursday night. She has no idea what she's walking into, she won't let me be there, fuck..."

"Where is she now?"

"I don't know..."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex walked back into Fahri's apartment, he handed her a scotch and they both sat down on his brown leather couch.

Alex sipped her drink, wishing it was something stronger, "Am I fucking everything up?"

"You're doing what you need to survive."

"Is that enough?"

"That's all there is Alex. Deep down you know that if you want out, you've got no other options. Piper will never be able to understand that, nobody outside our world ever does."

Alex let herself sink into the couch, "I've hit a wall. There's nothing I can say to make her feel better, so what the fuck am I meant to do?"

Fahri took a familiar glass vial out of his shirt pocket and inhaled the powder inside, then kept sipping his drink. Alex wanted that vial so bad, no matter how much she tried to push it out of her mind.

"You do what you need to do Alex, you've done alot for her."

That answer didn't even make sense to Alex, there were too many different versions of what she needed to do.

"Can I crash here tonight?"

"You know you can. I'll be out for most of the night so you'll have the place to yourself."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex spent the rest of the day lying on Fahri's couch, sleeping and drinking scotch. She was feeling pretty drunk by the time he left for his night out, and she was painfully aware of the fact that she was now alone.

 _Does it actually matter if I sit here drinking alcohol instead of using heroin? Is drinking the lesser of two evils???_

Alex's mind was spinning, she knew exactly where Fahri kept his drugs, and she knew he wouldn't care if she used any. But Piper would definitely care, she'd be so angry, and then there was Charlotte.

 _She deserves so much better than me, I'm such a fuck up._

Alex was feeling sorry for herself and just wanted to keep drinking. In a way it felt kinda nice. Holding it together all the time was so exhausting, falling apart for one day was almost a relief. But she couldn't do it in front of Piper and Charlie.

 _What the fuck made you think you'd ever be a good parent. As soon as that kid knows what you really are, she's gonna hate you._

Alex finished the rest of her drink and let herself sink further into the couch. She wanted to sleep, she could escape her reality when she was asleep.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was nearly midnight and Alex still wasn't home. Piper's anger had now turned into worry, but she didn't regret telling Alex how frustrsted she was by the whole situation.

Diane stayed, but she didn't seem as worried by Alex's absence, apparently it was a pretty regular occurrence when she was growing up.

"She needs time to herself Piper, time to think. This is her way of trying to process her feelings."

But those words didnt make Piper feel any better.

"She has a daughter now, she can't just run away when she's having a bad day."

Diane eventually decided to call her daughter, more so for Piper's sake than her own. It took a long time, but Alex finally answered, and Diane put her on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

Her voice sounded so unsure, and was so quiet, Diane could tell she was drunk.

"Hey baby."

"Mum?"

"Yeah, where are you?"

"Asleep..."

"Alex, tell me where you are."

But Alex wasn't listening, "Remember the old trailer?"

"I remember."

"It was...our prison...I had to...to get you out."

"Tell me where you are Alex, I'll come get you."

"When he... broke your wrist...I wanted to kill him..."

Diane could hear her daughter breathing heavily into the phone.

"You need to tell me where you are baby."

She could hear Alex struggling to get every word out, she hated knowing that her daughter was so haunted by their past.

"I slapped him that night...That's why he punched me..."

Piper had enough of listening to her girlfriend in this state, she needed to get to her right now.

"Alex, are you with Fahri?"

"Piper?" Alex was genuinely surprised the blonde was talking to her.

"I'm no...no better than him..."

"I'm coming to get you."

"I'd never...hit her...or you..."

Piper had never heard Alex talk like this before, it's like she was seeing a side of her girlfriend that she didn't know existed. She hated it, even if she was still kinda angry at her, she knew Alex would never get physical with her or Charlie, that thought never even crossed her mind. She started to feel guilty for not realising how much Alex was hurting deep down.

"I know Al, you're not anything like that. Please, I just want you home."

But Alex had already hung up, and Piper felt like throwing the phone into the wall. This was the first time she'd really seen Alex break, she had to get to her.

Diane forced Piper to listen to her before she ran out of the apartment, "She never shows that part of herself to anyone Piper, never. Go pick her up and bring her straight back here, I don't want her on her own when she's liked this. I'll stay with Charlie."

Piper nodded and left the apartment, she drove straight to Fahri's place.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Piper kept banging on the front door to Fahri's apartment, it felt like she was standing there forever until Alex finally opened the front door, she looked horrible. There was no colour in her cheeks, her eyeliner was smudged and her eyes were red. Piper could smell the alcohol on her, but still Alex said nothing, she just stood there leaning against the door frame for support. She couldn't even keep her eyes focussed on Piper, and eventually went back to the couch.

Piper stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She sat on the floor next to the couch, and saw the half empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table.

Alex had rolled over so her back was facing Piper, she just wanted to go back to sleep.

Piper gently put a hand on Alex's arm, "Let's go home."

But all she got in return was silence.

"Please Al, you need to come home."

"Why?" Alex's voice sounded so strained, Piper didn't even recognise it.

"Because you have a daughter, and she's at home waiting for you."

"No, she's not."

"Get the fuck up!"

Alex let the warm tears silently roll down her cheeks, but kept it hidden from Piper.

Piper started to gently rub the brunettes arm, trying to get her to snap out of it.

"I'm sorry I didn't realise how much you were hurting. But we need to go home together, we're a family."

Still no response, Alex was too tired to talk about it anymore.

Piper tried to let go of her anger, squeezed herself onto the small couch and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend from behind.

"Sweetie, you are nothing like those men you grew up with."

Those words seemed to cut through Alex's exterior, and Piper could feel her shaking.

"You're not violent, you're not cold hearted. Please, please come home with me."

Piper could still feel Alex shaking, and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, "We're so close Al, we can start our lives again when this is all over."

Alex finally rolled over and let Piper kiss her properly, and she felt a different kind of relief.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Diane could finally breathe again when she opened the door to see Piper and Alex standing on the other side.

Alex hugged her mother as soon as she saw her, squeezing tight. Diane eventually led them to the couch, and guided her daughter to lie down with her head in Diane's lap. Alex closed her eyes and tried to focus on the feeling of her mums fingers running through her hair.

Piper knelt down next to the couch, there was one question that couldn't wait till morning, and she was terrified of the answer.

"Al, did you take anything?"

Piper waited until she opened her eyes, "I wanted to...so bad."

"But did you?"

"No..."

Piper was so relieved to hear that one word. Getting off heroin was the hardest thing she'd ever done, she wasn't sure what she'd do if Alex ever started using again.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was almost 3am by the time the two women went to bed, with Diane spending the night in the spare room.

Alex wasn't feeling as hazy as she was back at Fahri's place, but she was definitely still drunk. They were both lying in bed, naked, with Piper cuddling her girlfriend from behind, being careful to not touch the still healing bullet wound.

Charlotte started crying, she'd only been fed an hour earlier so Piper figured she wasn't hungry again. The blonde untangled herself from Alex and picked up the little girl from her crib. Piper brought her into their bed, where Alex was now lying on her back.

Piper slowly placed Charlotte on Alex's chest and slipped back under the covers. Alex instinctively wrapped her arms around her daughter, holding her tightly. Charlotte slowly calmed down and stopped crying, eventually falling asleep again on her mother's chest.

"She'll always need you Al."

Maybe that was all Alex needed to hear, at least that's what Piper hoped.

 **A/N**

 **Hello again. You could say that nothing much really happened in this chapter, but I felt Alex needed to break, and I didn't want to rush it. She's lived under huge pressure for a while now, she's always been the strong one, it's not sustainable. I also feel like Piper has grown alot, she is strong enough to take care of Alex.**

 **I love reading all your reviews.**

 **Cheers.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Alex woke up at midday feeling like shit, she rolled over but Piper wasn't there. She got up and looked in the crib but it was empty, so she decided to take a shower.

Alex walked into the ensuite and looked in the mirror.

 _You look like shit Vause_

She had no desire to linger over her reflection, and got into the shower. She made the water hotter than usual, feeling like it was the only way to wash off the previous day.

Alex was so distracted by the feeling of the hot water on her face that she didn't notice Piper walk into the bathroom and open the shower door.

"Fuck! Pipes, you scared the shit outta me."

Piper didn't say anything as she stepped into the shower and hugged her girlfriend.

"Where's Charlie?"

"Your mum's watching her."

Piper pulled back and put her hands on Alex's face, she needed to look at her.

Alex eventually leaned in and let her lips brush over Piper's, slowly at first, but then she finally let herself go, and pushed Piper up against the shower wall as she kept kissing her harder.

Alex could still feel the aching in her side but she ignored it. Words might have been failing her, but this was one way she could always express herself very clearly. The brunette felt a rush take over her, she needed to touch her girlfriend now. She kept kissing the blonde and slid her hand in between her thighs.

Piper let her girlfriend take the lead, but she needed to see her face again, she needed to see her eyes. She was used to Alex using sex as a way to avoid problems, but she didn't want to do that this time. She put her hands on the brunettes face again and forced her to look her in the eye.

It was all Alex, all she saw in those tired green eyes was her girlfriend. It was regret, love, empathy, and something else she could never quite define.

Alex held Piper's gaze, well aware of what she wanted, "I'm sorry about last night, I was struggling."

"I know. But I need you to make me a promise, that no matter what happens, we'll always come home to each other."

"I promise."

"And, if you ever feel like you're close to using again, you need to tell me. It's not just about you and me anymore."

Alex remembered back to how badly she'd wanted that heroin, she felt ashamed knowing she'd come so close when she had a baby to take care of.

"I won't ever use again Pipes."

Piper finally dropped her gaze and leaned into Alex's chest, loving the feeling of the hot water trickling down her skin.

"I might not know much about the cartel, but that doesn't mean you can just dismiss my opinions. I know why you do it, but it's not fair."

"Okay..."

Piper had been thinking all morning about whether her next words were a good idea. But these issues seemed to cause Alex so much inner pain, she had to say something.

"Al, those things that happened to you when you were growing up, they don't define you."

"Piper...I don't want to talk about that."

Alex tried to look away, but the blonde wouldn't let her, "Al, you need to talk about it."

"No, I don't"

Alex tried to get out of the shower, but Piper grabbed her arm. She hated the way Alex could shut down so quickly, like it was automatic.

"Is that what you said after Jack raped me? No! You kept telling me to see a therapist, that I couldn't ignore it. What makes this any different?"

Alex dipped her head under the warm water. She couldn't answer that question, she knew there was no difference.

"How long do you think you can keep ignoring this?"

Alex moved her head away from the water, but she didn't look her girlfriend in the eye, "I've been ignoring it for 15 years Piper."

"Is that the example you wanna set for your daughter?"

Alex couldn't take it anymore, she shook off Piper's grip and got out of the shower, grabbing her towel and walking back into the bedroom. Alex started to get dressed when she saw Piper step in front of her, wrapped in a towel.

The blonde didn't say a word, she just stood there until Alex finally looked at her.

"What do you want me to say?"

Piper sat on the bed next to Alex, but didn't touch her yet, "You bailed last night, you were drunk, you shut down. I want you to be able to talk about growing up without crying, or shaking. I want you to have a job that doesn't put your life in danger. I just want you, Al."

Alex sighed, _How the fuck am I meant to respond to that?_

"Look, just let me get through this meeting on Thursday."

Piper shuffled closer and leaned her head on Alex's shoulder, "You have to come home..."

Alex finally released a breath she didn't even realise she was holding, "I will."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Thursday night came way too quickly for Alex's liking, and she was freaking out. She could see Piper trying to not make a big deal out of the situation, but the way she hugged Alex said otherwise. Alex felt every movement as Piper held onto her a little tighter and a little longer. The brunette buried her face in that familiar blonde hair, trying to memorize how soft it was, how good it smelt. If she could just remember those things, maybe everything would be okay.

Alex didn't move from that spot on Piper's shoulder, in her hair.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm done."

Alex tried to pull back but Piper kept holding on, "Not yet."

Alex kissed the exposed skin on the blondes neck and closed her eyes again.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex was sitting in Fahri's car, doing a shitty job of listening to his instructions.

"Let me do the talking, don't say anything unless he asks you a question, understand?"

"Understand."

She felt like there was no point asking again what the hell the plan was, it's not like he'd tell her anyway.

It wasn't much longer before Fahri parked outside the warehouse, the same place she nearly died. Being back there felt weird to say the least.

"Could you not have chosen a different place to meet?"

Fahri lit a cigarette, "He's trying to psyche you out Alex, don't let him get in your head."

They stayed sitting in the car until Fahri flicked his cigarette out the window and checked his phone one last time.

Alex knew better than to ask too many questions, staying in the car until Fahri opened his door. She followed him into the warehouse, wiping her palms on her black jeans to try and stop the sweating. Fahri led them to a small back office that she'd never seen before, and she was surprised to see Kubra sitting on his own. Alex wasn't used to seeing him alone, Aiden was usually always with him.

 _Not any more..._

That room felt impossibly small and cold, Kubra didn't even say anything as she and Fahri walked into the room and sat down. There was nothing there, just a few chairs and a small desk. No one there for Kubra's protection, although he always carried a loaded gun anyway. He looked especially serious tonight, wearing a suit as always, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Alex.

The brunette didn't say a word, she just sat there and waited for Fahri to start talking, but he was still checking his phone, making Alex feel even more uncomfortable. She was sure Kubra noticed it too, and he eventually started the conversation.

"What do you want Fahri?"

"We need to talk about Indonesia."

But Kubra put up his hand before Fahri could keep talking, "I'm getting really, really fucking tired of both of you."

Fahri knew his place, and waited for their boss to keep talking, "Alex, where would you be without this organisation?"

Alex held his gaze, but she didn't answer. There was nothing she could say, they all knew where she'd probably be if she'd never met Fahri.

"You'd probably be fucking dead, if not by your own hand, then by someone elses. How much longer do you think you and your mother could've lived in that fucking trailer? How many more times do you think she would've let her boyfriends abuse you?"

Alex inhaled sharply and tried to stay calm. That was the problem with these people, they sucked you in when you were at your weakest, you willingly told them all your secrets, and then eventually you'd end up here. He was making her sound ungrateful, like he saved her from a life of misery. And hey, maybe he did save her, but now she needed to save herself.

Kubra could see how uncomfortable she was, and he kept going, "And what about Diane? Do you think she'd still be alive if it weren't for me? How many more deadbeats would she have ended up with?"

Alex finally relented, "Yeah, I get it. But I've done plenty for you since then."

But he seemed to completely ignore her, desperate to make her feel as small and pathetic as possible, "You never even thanked me for getting rid of the man that raped your girlfriend."

She had to grit her jaw at that comment, he loved to bring that up, and she hated him for it. Her mind was screaming with all the words she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't.

 _I never asked you to go after Jack! I never asked for any of it!_

He just kept going, "What happened with Aiden was unfortunate, but I gave you more time off. You always want more Alex, no matter what I do for you. Now I'm sick of it. You're getting on that plane to Indonesia, and you'll stay there as long as I tell you to."

Fahri tried to interject, but Kubra had enough, "Shut the fuck up! The both of you need to remember that everyone is expendable, everyone."

Alex and Fahri stayed sitting there, not moving, not saying a word. She was starting to feel like Fahri had set her up, he was sitting there saying and doing nothing.

 _What the fuck is he doing!? Fuck, I should've listened to Piper, I'm gonna fucking die in this shit hole tonight..._

Alex felt like she was about to vomit. She looked to Fahri, but he didn't say anything, this wasn't a plan, this was a death sentence. She went to stand up but Fahri pulled her down straight away and muttered under his breath, "Sit down!"

But everything started happening so fast, with the door to the small room flying open while Alex was still standing.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Just like in all those gangster movies, everything started moving in slow motion. Alex turned her head just in time to see a man rush through the door, arm outstretched, a gun pointed directly at Kubra. It was all one motion, the door opening, the man running in, and then a gunshot.

Alex backed herself into the corner of the room, she couldn't hear anything, she didn't know what was happening.

 _Is this real? Am I dead?_

She watched on as the man ran to where Kubra had fallen to the floor and shot him three more times in the head and chest. It took a while for her to realise that Fahri was standing in front of her now, his hands on her shoulders, trying to shake her out of her stupor.

"Alex!"

She finally heard his voice and locked onto his eyes, then she looked to see where the other man was. He was still standing over Kubra's body, just staring, not moving at all.

She finally managed to find her voice, hands still shaking, "What the fuck just happened?"

"Sit down for a minute, catch your breath."

Alex managed to sit down, but she was put off by the look on Fahri's face, he looked scared. He sat down in the chair next to her while the other man stayed standing, looking around the small room. It wasn't much longer before he started speaking, still holding onto his gun very tightly.

"That fucking animal, he didn't deserve a quick death, not after what he did to my kids."

He slowly tucked the gun into the back of his pants, then he turned his attention to Alex.

"I know you didn't shoot her. I could see it in your face, you felt sorry for her."

The man gave Fahri a quick look before tossing him a set of keys and walking back out of the room and into the night.

 **A/N**

 **Soooo, what do you think?**

 **Cheers.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Alex stayed glued to the chair, her hands covering her face.

Fahri's voice eventually broke through her haze of confusion and anxiety.

"Alex, you need to go."

"Are you kidding me? What the fuck just happened!"

Fahri grabbed both her arms and pulled her up from the chair, "I asked you to trust me before, now I'm asking you again. Take my car, and go home. I'll come to your apartment tomorrow to pick up my car, then we can talk."

Alex finally managed to look at his face, it was too controlled, and she wasn't buying it, he was scared too.

"What are you gonna do?"

Fahri looked over to their bosses dead body lying on the other side of the room. The blood stains had spread across his shirt, with the red liquid starting to pool on the floor.

"I'm gonna take care of this."

Alex kept looking between Fahri and Kubra's body, she still couldn't process what just happened.

"Trust me one more time Alex, go home."

Fahri handed Alex his car keys and walked her outside. She eventually found her way into the drivers seat and started the car. She sat there and watched Fahri walk back into the warehouse.

 _Did he do all this, just to save me?_

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex had left her keys in Fahri's car and knocked lightly on the apartment door. Piper had been sitting on the couch since Alex left. By now it was just after 1am, and the blonde jumped as soon as she heard the knocking.

Alex threw her arms around Piper's neck as soon as she saw those blue eyes. She wasn't even really sure what just happened, she was scared.

Piper placed a hand on the back of her girlfriend's head and used her other hand to pull her in close.

"Al, you're shaking."

Piper tried to lead them towards the couch, but Alex was glued to the spot.

"Are you hurt?"

Alex shook her head against Piper's shoulder.

"Please say something..."

The brunette raised her head ever so slightly and placed her lips against Piper's ear, "Kubra's dead."

Piper's blood ran cold, "What do you mean?"

Alex finally managed to move her feet and walk to the couch, pulling Piper with her.

"It was her dad."

"Al, you're not making any sense."

"The girl, the one he wanted me to shoot, it was her dad."

Piper's mind was racing, "How did he know where you guys were?"

"Fahri, it must've been Fahri. I have no fucking idea. He just told me to leave, that he'd call me tomorrow."

Piper didn't know what to say, but she couldn't help but thinking that maybe this was it, maybe Alex was finally free. Kubra was the one threatening her, the one that was trying to take Alex away from her. Surely with him out of the way, Alex could leave the cartel.

"Do you feel like going to bed?"

Alex kept running her hands up and down her thighs, "I can't stop shaking, I feel like I can't sit still. Fuck..."

Piper pushed some of Alex's long black hair behind her ear, "Let's get in the bath, it might help you relax. Charlotte's asleep, she should stay down for a few more hours. C'mon Al..."

Piper was worried about how Alex was feeling, that she was thinking about heroin.

Alex could see that look in her eyes, she knew exactly what her girlfriend was worried about.

"I'm not gonna use. I just, I don't know what to do with myself..."

Alex eventually let the blonde lead her to the bathroom, where they slowly undressed each other as they waited for the warm water to fill the bath tub. It was just big enough for the two of them to lie together comfortably. Alex loved the way it forced them to cuddle so closely, it always felt so good.

Piper went to step in first but Alex stopped her, "Let me get in first, I wanna hold you."

Piper smiled and watched Alex's long legs step into the water and lower her body into the tub. Once she was comfortable, she indicated for Piper to join her. Piper carefully stepped into the water and let her body rest against Alex's.

"Mmhhh, this is so nice."

Alex smiled at those words and wound her arms around the blondes waist, pulling her in even closer. Piper could feel Alex's breasts pressed up against her back, she could never get enough of this type of intimacy, never.

Piper let herself lean back into Alex's body, eventually resting the back of her head against her girlfriend's chest. Piper could still feel tension in Alex's body, but at least she wasn't shaking anymore.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

A few moments passed before Piper heard that familiar voice, "This guy, the father, he just ran into the room and shot him. He kept shooting, I fucking froze. He spoke to me, said he knew that I didn't wanna hurt her."

Alex took a deep breath before she started talking again.

"Then Fahri told me to get out. I should probably feel happy, so why am I so fucking scared?"

Piper could hear the anger in her voice, "Because you've been through hell."

Piper felt Alex's hands running over her stomach and then her breasts, but it wasn't about sex, Alex just needed to feel her.

"Al, do you think it's over?"

"I don't know, I hope so."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

It was after 3am by the time the two women found themselves in bed. Alex felt better after the warm bath, but she really didn't want to close her eyes.

Piper pulled the covers over both of them, they were still naked. Piper shuffled closer to her girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her from behind.

"Why don't you try and sleep?"

Alex shook her head, "I can't."

Piper leaned in closer and kissed the pale skin on Alex's neck, "Tell me why."

"Because I'm too scared to close my eyes."

That response made Piper feel helpless and she hated it.

"Well, what if we keep talking?"

She felt the brunette exhale loudly against the pillow.

"Okay..."

"Do you ever think about us having another baby?"

A few years ago, a question like that would've sent Alex packing. But now it just made her smile.

"Yeah."

Piper could barely contain the excitement in her voice, "Really?"

"Yes babe. Now that we know the new treatment works, that you can carry to full term, I think it'd be awesome. Being an only child can be lonely, I want Charlie to have a little brother or sister."

Those words made Piper hug her girlfriend even tighter, "I can't wait to have another baby with you."

For that moment at least, there was no cartel and no danger. They could just be two people in love, planning their future together. Alex didn't want to think about her reality, she wanted one night where she could believe they had a shot at a normal life.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex didn't sleep much that night, and decided she might as well get up when she heard the smallest little cry from the crib. She knew she should probably let Charlotte cry at least a little bit, but right now she didn't care about that. Right now she wanted to hold her baby.

She looked behind her to see Piper still blissfully asleep, wrapped up in the sheet. It was a picture that would always make Alex smile. She leaned over the crib and picked up her baby girl, who looked back at her with those piercing blue eyes.

"Shhh, it's okay Charlie, you can keep me company for a while."

Alex cuddled the baby against her chest and walked towards the kitchen to make a bottle. She made her way into the lounge room once she was done, getting comfortable on the couch so she could feed her daughter.

She sat there, just watching Charlotte drink her milk. Alex felt a weird kind of relief that the little girl had no idea about the stress in their lives. Right now, being fed a bottle and being held in her mother's arms, Charlotte was perfectly content. It made it easier for Alex to relax, just knowing that her baby was safe and happy.

Then Alex's mind started to wander, she couldn't wait until Charlotte was older and they could talk to each other. But in the meantime, she was more than happy to enjoy these moments, Charlotte wouldn't stay a baby forever, and Alex wanted to commit these moments to memory.

It wasn't long before the bottle was empty and Alex leaned the small body over her shoulder and rubbed her back. Charlotte's little body was so soft and warm, she was completely adorable.

The sun was just starting to poke through the window, but Alex still wasn't tired. She had no idea how long she actually spent in the lounge room with Charlotte, it didn't matter. Alex had placed her on the floor with her toys and they stayed like that. Charlotte for the most part was completely focused on her toys, but she would occasionally look up at Alex, making the brunette smile every time.

 **A/N**

 **Hi guys,**

 **sorry for the delay with this one. I have been sick as a dog these last couple weeks and working long hours, worst winter ever. This story is coming to a close, let me know if there's anything in particular you think is missing or you'd like to see.**

 **Cheers.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Alex never went back to bed, and ended up lying on the couch with Charlotte, who eventually feel asleep on her mothers chest.

Alex felt like dozing off herself when she heard a knock at the door. She looked at the clock on the far wall, it was 10am, it had to be Fahri.

Alex gently cradled her daughter against her chest as she got up from the couch and opened the front door, relieved that Piper was still asleep.

She led Fahri into the kitchen where they got comfortable, there was alot to talk about.

Alex was the first one to break the silence, "What the hell happened last night?"

She could see he had no idea how to even start answering that question, or maybe he didn't want to.

"You planned it all?"

"I did what I had to."

His eyes moved to look behind Alex, where he could see Piper slowly walking towards them. The blonde eventually sat next to Alex and stayed silent, she just wanted to listen.

Fahri looked back to his old friend, "He would've killed you if you didn't get on that plane."

"I know..."

"And if you did get on, he wouldn't have let you come back for a very long time."

Alex felt like she owed Fahri everything, but how do you thank someone for giving you another chance at a real life?

"I didn't want to see that happen Alex, you know our friendship means alot to me. I've always tried to protect you, even though you don't make it easy sometimes."

"What did you do after I left last night?"

Fahri shook his head, "The less you know the better. It's going to look like a rival hit, I've taken care of everything."

"What about the cops?"

"Don't worry about it Alex, it's taken care of."

"Who's gonna take over?"

He was starting to lose his patience with all her questions, but he wanted to keep his cool. He wasn't even really sure why he went to such lengths to save Alex, he'd never taken such a huge risk for another person before. Maybe he felt guilty about being the one that brought her into the cartel, he didn't want to think about it too deeply.

"I don't know, it doesn't really matter. I was his right hand man in the states, the guys from Cyprus will listen to whatever I tell them about what happened. Some of them will be pissed, and some of them will see it as an opportunity."

Piper could see how tense Alex was feeling, so took the opportunity to ask her own question.

"So what happens to Alex?"

"Whatever she wants."

Alex felt so overwhelmed, she'd wanted this so badly for so long. But now that the opportunity to be truly free was right in front of her, she was frozen.

"Alex, you know I'll always have a place for you, but I know that's not what you want right now. Keep a low profile for a while, I'll keep everything away from you. Stay away from the bars you used to work, stay away from me for a while. Live your life."

Alex passed the baby to Piper and walked around to the other side of the table so she could hug Fahri.

The two friends stood there for a while, it was a bittersweet moment. Alex couldn't quite believe she might finally be free from the cartel, with the idea of living a normal life with her family being too good to be true. But she had to stay away from Fahri for a long time, maybe forever. Aside from Diane, he'd been all she had for so long, she was going to miss him.

Alex kept a tight grip on him while she tried to make sense of everything. She understood the risks he'd taken for her, it wasn't something she ever expected.

"I can never repay you for any of this..."

Fahri kept holding onto her, not wanting to admit to himself how much their friendship actually meant to him.

"I don't want anything from you, just don't fuck this up."

He ended the hug and started walking towards the front door.

"Don't call me, I'll contact you when it's safe."

They exchanged one last knowing look before he left the apartment, and Alex had no idea when she'd see him again.

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Alex felt so weird and out of place for the next few weeks, she had no work issues to worry about, and could literally spend all her time with her family. Kubra's death was all over the news, which initially made her nervous. Part of her expected the police to appear on their doorstep and question her, but it never happened. She hadn't heard from Fahri at all, part of her wanted to talk to him, to make sure he was in the clear, but she knew she couldn't risk it.

Over a month had passed since Alex had seen Fahri, she'd been spending all her time with Charlotte and Piper. It felt like such an insane luxury, but she'd never take it for granted. She never held a grudge against Diane for how she grew up, but she wanted to make sure Charlotte had all the things she never had. She never wanted her daughter to have to deal with the things she did growing up. Alex kept reminding herself how lucky she was, having so much more support around her than Diane ever had.

Late on a Tuesday afternoon, Alex found herself sitting in Dr Russell's office with Piper and Charlotte, he wanted to check up on her progress.

Alex sat on the bed while Piper stood in front of her with Charlotte in her arms. Alex had to smile to herself, this was all she'd wanted all along, but she was still so scared of losing it all.

Piper walked closer to her girlfriend, with Charlie reaching out with her little hands as she tried to reach Alex.

Alex smiled and outstretched her arms, grabbing her little girl and kissing her on the nose, "Hey Charlie."

The little girl giggled and tried to steal her mum's glasses, she was always trying to take them off.

"C'mon kid, I need these to see."

Piper stepped closer to the bed and kissed Alex on the cheek, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

Piper kept running her fingers over Alex's cheek, "Just okay?"

"I'm just worried Pipes. You know how much I love being able to spend so much time with you and Charlie, it means everything to me."

Piper leaned in again but this time she kissed Alex on the lips, with Dr Russell walking through the door moments later.

"Hello ladies, how have you been?"

Piper turned around to face him. She'd always be thankful to him for saving Alex, but every time she saw his face her mind was taken back to that horrible night.

"We've been good."

Dr Russell smiled and turned to his patient.

"Okay Alex, please lie down for me and we'll see how you're coming along.

Alex handed Charlie back to Piper and lay down on the bed. She closed her eyes and felt him lift up her black t-shirt. His hands felt so cold against her skin, she'd be glad when she didn't need anymore checkups and she could put that night behind her forever.

"This has healed nicely Alex, have you had much pain?"

"Not as much anymore."

"That's good. Okay, I'm going to start pressing harder, let me know how much it hurts."

Alex braced herself as Dr Russell pressed into her stomach, fuck it hurt. She balled her hands into fists and tried to push through it, but couldn't stop the groan from slipping through her lips.

Piper could feel Charlotte wriggling around in her arms, trying to get back to Alex.

"Sorry Alex, I just need to make sure there are no internal issues. How would you rate the pain out of ten?"

Alex grit her teeth, wishing this appointment was already over, "Mmghhh, maybe a 6."

"Okay, that's good."

Alex tried to lie still as he kept pressing into her stomach, slowly moving his hands around her side. He started pressing harder, it didn't hurt too much at first but then he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

"Aagghh, fuck!"

Charlotte started to fight against Piper even more, desperate to get to her other mum.

"Sorry Alex, that's where most of the scar tissue is, it'll be sore for a while."

Alex was relieved when he finally finished the examination and pulled her t-shirt back down. She sat up slowly and took Charlie from Piper's arms.

"Hey Charlie, it's okay, I'm okay."

Piper carefully brushed the soft blonde hair out of her daughter's eyes, while she rest her head against Alex's shoulder.

"You're doing really well Alex, everything is healing nicely. Unless you end up having any pain issues, I won't need to see you for another month."

Alex was glad when they finally left his office, with Charlie keeping a tight grip on her. They decided to go to a nearby cafe for a coffee before heading home.

Alex and Charlie slipped into one side of a booth, with Piper on the other side.

"You probably only need one more session with Dr Russell, then we can put it all behind us."

"Thank fuck, I hate that hospital."

Alex flicked through the menu while Charlie kept trying to steal her glasses, and Piper couldn't help but smile.

"She loves you, Al."

"Well, I love her too, and you."

 **0-0-0-0-0**

Time was passing by so quickly. At first they didn't notice, but it was impossible to ignore as Charlotte's first birthday approached.

Alex had only heard from Fahri once in the last year. All he'd said was that everything was going well and he hoped she was enjoying her new life. They didn't speak for long, maybe 5 minutes, but Alex was relieved to know that he was okay. She still missed him sometimes, but she tried not to dwell on it.

She watched Piper sitting in the lounge room with Charlie. It sounded so cliche, but Alex was scared of how quickly she was growing up. She didn't want to think about the day when they'd have to step back and let their daughter live her own life. Alex had been so defiant growing up, she didn't know if she could deal with being on the receiving end of that behaviour as a parent. Hopefully Charlie would find a nice balance between Alex's bad side and Piper's practicality.

Alex made her way into the lounge and sat next to Piper on the couch. They both smiled at eachother and Piper relaxed and leaned into Alex's side. They didn't need words in moments like that, it was pure comfort and trust. They still had their rough patches like any couple, but they always found their way back to that silent understanding. That completely intangible thing that said no matter how much they yelled at eachother some days, it didn't matter, they'd keep finding a way.

Alex knew that she'd marry Piper one day, there was no one else for her.

There was still so much to look forward to, their lives would never be boring.

Alex leaned in close and kissed the top of her girlfriend's head, "Love you Pipes."

"Mmhhh, love you too Al."

 **A/N**

And that's where I'm leaving this one folks, thanks for all the support on this sequel, I really enjoyed revisiting this one.

I know people wanted more family and marriage stuff, but I'm really not so good with the more fluffy stuff.

I'll be starting a new vauseman story before the year is over.

Thanks again :)


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